Conversation Piece...

So... I was having a conversation last week.
It started:

Me: So... has homeboy been by to see you, yet?
Her: Nope.
Me: *smh*
Her: But that's okay... I'm not going to let him bring me down.
Me: That's good. (although I know her well enough to not fall for this line, especially behind THIS negro)
Her: He's been hanging out w/ "Pete". (not his real name)
Me: Who's Pete?
Her: "LeAnn's" husband. (not her real name)
Me: Oh. What do you think of him?
Her: He's alright, I guess. They (LeAnn & her new hubby) fight a lot.
Me: Word?
Her: Yeah. She just met him for the first time on a co-habitant level when he got out of jail?
Me: *I perk up and say...* WHAT?!
Her: Yeah. She met & married him while he was in jail. He's her friend's brother & she introduced them to each other while he was in jail.
Me: I gotta hang up... I've REALLY got to hang up this phone. Are you effin' kiddin' me?
Her: Nope. He got out of jail a few weeks ago & moved in w/ her. Her mother doesn't even know all of this.
Me: Wow! I have NO words.
Me: So... she moved into those apartments on "blank" street?
Her: No. She now has a house. It's a section-8 house. She just got it.
Me: Huh? How do you have a decent job & still qualify for section-8?
Her: I don't know. She said she's been on section-8 for (7) years now.
Me: *smh* I'm SOOOO lost right now w/ the foolywang-ness of this story.

Surprisingly, I went to school with this chick. Couldn't tell her she wasn't the *ish in high school. She used to think that she was better than me because she was light skinned. *blank stare* We were the only two blacks on the cheerleading squad. I was captain & she only made the squad because we selected her after someone else had to quit because her parent's were moving to AZ.

Anyhoo... I was dumbfounded at the whole conversation. My parents were like... WHAT?! - when I told them the story, too. My dad, not as much as my mother & I. He was just like... that's what low self esteem will do to a person. When you get in the thinking that somehow... you don't deserve better. My first question to self was: How do you just bring some random man around your kids like that? Not my problem, I guess. But the *ish still baffels me. Plus... (7) years on section-8? I'm not opposed to folks getting assistance, but isn't the purpose just to help you get on your feet? Since when do you make it a lifetime option?

My niece & her daughter are on the same cheerleading squad. So when I ran into her earlier this year, she said to me... "You know I'm married now, right?" Me, um... no. Her... "Yeah. I married me a criminal!" I said, "come again?" She repeated, "Yeah. I married me a criminal." I had no response. Cause in my head I'm thinking... "I wouldn't share that piece of information w/ ANYBODY, willingly. You'd have to come up on that piece of information some other way, if that was the road I took." *sigh* She's not my girl like that, but I do have to wonder, how do you NOT want better for yourself?


Another conversation on Friday night:
(a different person) - based upon a convo she had w/ her ex...


Her: He told me, "I don't know who told you that you weren't worth anything, but that *ish was fukked up!"
Me: Huh?
Her: Because I have low self esteem.
Me: Girl... you do NOT have low self esteem.
Her: Oh but I do.
Me: I don't see it. Low self esteem will get your azz run over by someone. You, don't have low self esteem. Cause you won't let that happen. Maybe 10 years ago... but now... negative. I think you let people intimidate you at times when you allow people to make you feel less than in the business sense. But a man... nope.
Her: I guess you're right. But sometimes I say things to "blank" just to try to make him feel bad when he's hurt my feelings... but it doesn't work.
Me: And you've been doing this for how long? How many years?
Her: Oh... say, 15 years.
Me: And it's worked how many times?
Her: None.
Me: You know, crazy is: doing the same thing over & over again, expecting to get a different result. (she actually finished that sentence w/ me - simultaneously)
Her: He said he couldn't have married me, because my lack of confidence would have driven me crazy. Hence the reason he said, "I don't know who told you you weren't worth anything, but that *ish was fukked up."
Me: No man wants an insecure azz female. That *ish is not a becoming trait. People are naturally attracted to people who exude confidence. I can tell you for a fact that I can't kick it w/ any insecure azz man. That *ish is NOT going down. It's not even attractive.
Her: I know. That's what he said, too.
Me: But let me just share with you all the reasons I think you're beyond the bomb & phenomenal... (I shared my list of things w/ her & why she's such a blessing to me...)
Her: Thank you. You are always soooo sweet.
Me: Uh... that's just the truth. That's why I'm here... to uplift.


Next convo...
out at dinner with one of my old friends:

Me: So... tell me about this new guy. Where'd you meet him?
Her: Um... you're gonna laugh when I tell you.
Me: *serious look* Okay... where'd you meet him.
Her: Well... I had joined this site a while back.
Me: Site? Which one?
Her: Okay... Okay. Don't laugh.
Me: wth? What? Meetamillionaire.com or something?
Her: *%!@$^#(&).com
Me: *with a wtf look on my face - which then turned into a massive smile because I was trying to keep from laughing*
Her: Yeah... originally I had met a guy on there who was a fraud. He lied about his age, how much he made, and some other *ish. So I had shut my page down. But then a couple of months later I opened it back up & was getting madd attention on that piece.
Me: So are you telling me that these men, knowingly, are on this site tryin' to spend up madd loot on females who they know want them to spend their loot on them to be interested?
Her: Yep.
Me: Wow...
(Now don't even ask. I have NO CLUE as to why homegirl was/is even on the site. But I DO know that the dude she's been kickin' w/ for the last 3 months flies her out there at least twice a month. But I also know he's not as balleristic as he's trying to appear. Sorry... I just don't understand her or him on this one.)

Well... that's about it on the blog. Gotta get up at 5 am to hit the gym & sauna before work, so... I'm headed to bed. I shall return w/ something of substance later.

Quick One...

Hey, hey, hey....
It's been a minute, I know. Aki reminds me often.
It's cool though... cause I return the favor. Even when I have no grounds to talk. lol...
In my defense, I started a blog on 10/26. It's actually a decent length.
... but I guess in the big scheme of things, it really doesn't matter; if I never posted it. *sigh*
But... good news! I'ma try to post THIS weekend. No promises, though.
I've been working like a run-a-way slave!
And it's not going to get any better - any sooner.
Additional work is coming... so it looks like I'll be traveling again & sooner than I thought.
I'm not against traveling but... that mess was kicking my energy level below non-existent.
And up until last week... I couldn't even take my butt to the gym to get my energy level back up.
Thankfully... I'm back in business. I've been getting cussed out left & right for not returning calls.
Sad. But honestly, I didn't even have the energy to care. *smh*
I would say to myself... I hear ya, girl/man. I know, I suck - right now. And keep on sleeping, lounging or working. Cause unless you travel like that (I was in the office all of (3) days for (4) weeks)...
you just wouldn't understand how jet lag takes it's toll on an already tired & strugglin' person.
Someone said to me last night... "You must REALLY love your job." I said... I do like what I do.
But, in this economy... I simply like HAVING a job, period. Cause your option could be unemployment.

I had a birthday. *sigh* Birthdays = wackdays, for me.
Although an Obama win made the perfect, day after, gift.
I went to Vegas to celebrate. Or rather... not so much.
Vegas = Wackness. But it was a bday present from my Nina. Not ungrateful, but that mess was wack.
Not to mention... I had NO energy! *sigh* Details on that, later.
All of my ex's called to say "Happy Bday!" The new guy I've been seeing... remembered (4) days later. *smh*
Could be another reason I'm not that into him? No?
I'm always surprised at the people who remember... & the people who forget.
(Adwoa, you get a pass cause I heart you for infinity!)
Actually... I gave a few 'get out of jail - free' passes.
Bday's, for me, are big. No other day in the year, is the expectation to 'celebrate' me.
And not so much celebrate, as acknowledge me.
But... I'm learning to lower my expectations on bdays. In fact, I'm choosing to celebrate my day on a random, out of the blue, day next year. Not even going to be in my bday month. Just a no expectation day when the likelyhood of fun w/ ensue. *smh* @ me yelling out of the blue... "It's my birthday!" - and it's not. lmao...
Black Ski Summit, maybe? Alpha will be there. =o) All-Star weekend in AZ? Perhaps...
They're both on my list.

Okay... gotta get back to work.
Oh... one last thing (or two). I'm over The Hills.
That used to be my show.
But when they tried to go w/ the rumored storyline of Justin Bobby & Lauren...
that was it, for me.
Now I'm CONVINCED the garnered up storylines rumors are true.
Cause that mess wasn't even believable.
Audrina's acting was even unbelievable. And that girl is my favortie, right now.
Decided to just stick to CSI: Miami & Horacio Cane, now.
Or Will & Grace re-runs. I do need to update my collection.

Okay... time to get to work.
Be back this weekend (at some point) to blog.
I'm working... and shopping! =o)
Keyshia Cole's new cd in stores Dec. 16th. I just listened to the preview...
I LOVE IT!
Btw... I love her show. More on that, later, too.

Later.
~BK