It's been a minute since I wrote on this blog...
Actually... longer than a minute.
I'd lost my writing mojo, more or less.
Or actually... the energy.
I actually wrote this post about a two months ago.
My uncle passed in Feb...
And since I originally wrote this post, another uncle passed. (June 10th)
Working madd hours...
Being madd tired...
Went to Vegas for a girls get-a-way - and was STILL tired.
Went on a 2nd Vegas get-a-way. STILL tired. *smh*
But if I could just pause for the cause & interject right quick and say something:
I'm really over folks disliking me for no apparent reason. I don't get it.
It's no longer something I'm even trying to understand, tho. It just is what it is.
Btw... all the additions I added to this blog are in itallics.
Went to Baltimore (for work) but caught up w/ another blogging buddy & friend. =o)
Matter of fact... I've met a plethora of my blogging buddies, now. There's only a few I have yet to meet.
Dani, Aki, Carla, Cam, etc. But Cam & I will be meeting up in August! =o)
But, I've decided to get focused on my focus. =o)
And it's been long overdue. Yes sir! I've decided to get me a new business mentor! I still have my old one, so to speak... but I've been watching NPR - Profiles of Urban Entreprenuers on BET (surprise! BET actually has a few decent programs) and... watching these folks has really started to get me motivated. And if I'm being honest... I NEEDED a lil' push in the motivation department. I mean... I'm working in my career field and I enjoy it (most of the time), but... In reading my 'Morning Tea' the other day, it read: "It's hard to find satisfaction halfway up someone else's corporate ladder"... I immediately thought - ain't that the truth. So, the day spa that I want to own; note own vs. work in - I've got to start making some moves to get things going in that direction. The foundation that I want to start... ditto. The chapter of 100 BW that I'd like to start - (nods head at my baby sis, Adwoa)... it's ALL doable. I'm anxious to get started. =o)
Met a new guy and I'll just leave it at that. But he makes me extremely happy. =o) (Although, in my current state of writing, ie. TODAY - I'm currently extra pissy w/ him). Anyhoo... he's not so much new, as he's a guy I used to attend college with - way back when. But, reconnecting with him has been - beyond what my heart envisioned. Seriously. Listening to my Raheem DeVaughn today at work - and actually listened to the words of 'Mo Better'... Good Lord! Thoughts of him are all up & through that song. God has definitely smiled on me... Indeed. =o) My song of the moment, tho.. "Beautiful" - by Musiq Soulchild.
There is, indeed, a new online magazine!! (Shout out to my girl, Danielle H, for chasing her dream & making it a reality!) So proud of you, ma'ma! Anyhoo... the name of the magazine is: Urbane Perspective Magazine. And we can be found at http://www.urbaneperspectivemag.com/. Do log on & sign up for the mailing list!! I am an editor, but I have yet to really start in w/ my articles. Have had a lot going on. But it's about to be on & poppin'! =o)
So... that was the original blog. And can you believe I actually have more to add? Of course you can (if you really know me). I've been feelin' some type of way about a couple of different things. And I realize that I've allowed folks words/opinions seep in & affect me and even had me censoring my own words - for a really long time. And excuse my french, but FUKK THAT! I was reading Joyce Meyer's twitter page today (as if Joyce Meyer and a 'fukk that' go hand in hand... lol)- when I came across this quote: "We're not really free until we're free from the need to impress other people." And I actually hate that I've been more conditioned to care what others think, in the last couple of years - than the old me who would just write a jokers opinion of me off in a New York minute. Even on foolishness, I used to work on the 3 strike rule (which was really two) & my BF at the time used to be like... you will just cut a joker off w/ the quickness. I used to only give two strikes, as my reasoning had always been... if you get two strikes, you'll most certainly get the third; so I'd cut my losses early. lol... *sigh* But gone are the days of that scorpio trait. Joyce also said: "Discipline enables you to think first and act second." - Amen. So even though I had been censoring myself, I had to admit to myself that I also believe there's discipline in silence. And there's definite power in not feeding into the negativitiy by lashing out. But lol @ the 'my friend doesn't like you so neither do I, 6th grade behavior.' Really? Thankfully I've long been outta the 6th grade. I have no plans of catching the bus back, either. And as Jose so eloquently put it this week, "If you hate me... well, at least you feel something." Okay, okay... my bad. I just had to say it. I just don't get it. But, once again, Joyce hit me w/ a quote, "When nothing makes sense, Trust God Anyway!"
But, there's beauty in every struggle. Yes, yes. There are lessons to be gained, learned & applied from every situation; good, bad or ugly. But one thing I do know... life's too short to be putting energy into negativity. Especially after I've had (2) uncles die w/in (3) months of each other. Life is too short to be trying to live up to someone elses expectations; when you should be striving to live up to your own. Life is too short to be putting your life on hold; waiting on someone to do what needs to be done. Do it yourself or keep it moving. Lifes to short to be holding grudges. If you care/appreciate/love that person, forgiveness always gives you power. And lastly, life is far too great to not indulge yourself in His blessings. Never let anyone or anything be a hinderance to your blessings. I am definitely talking to myself as I typed those last few lines. I am loving my growth as I walk w/ The Most High. I realize that in all the things that might make me sad, mad or stressed out - God has smiled on me! He has shown up & is showing out in my life. Trust, I am grateful.
Well... let me run, it's the winding down of my Father's Day. Special shout out to my Dad. Too many times I hear others looking to "celebrities" to be their role model. Blessed is the one who was raised by one. I love my dad for everything he's instilled in me, everything he's given me & everything he's been & continues to be to me. I'm beyond blessed.
Be Blessed,
~BK
