Guess who?! Yes... I know. SURPRISE!! =) I haven't been here in quite the minute. There are many reasons, though. Blah, blah, blah... But... gone are the days of blogging daily, for most. Luckily, I've added it back on my list of things to get back to doing, as writing has always been one of my passions. I'll keep you posted as the updates take flight.
Anyhoo... As most of you know, my dad passed in January. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. He had a stroke - two days after Christmas and... though he was a fighter for 8 add'l days, The Most High called him home in January. I was/am super closer to my father (yes, it's still difficult to talk about him in past tense). I am also super close to my mother. I think back & I marvel at how amazing God is & how he works. When I was laid off last year, I wasn't even mad. Actually welcomed it. When my boss said, "I feel so bad to have to do this. I'm sorry." My response was... "Don't be sorry, I'm not. It's really okay. I'm good." I took my severance & filed my paperwork for UE. It allowed me to take my dad back & forth to his doctor's appointments, go to appointment after appointment at the V.A. with him, talk to his doctor's, hang out with him... and in the big scheme of things... spend more time with him. As I'm definitely a momma AND a daddy's girl. =) It wasn't all roses, though. I can admit, I'm not a fan of V.A. care. Their entire process frustrates the heck outta me. Luckily, he was doing that in addition to seeing his regular doctors. Never the less, a stroke was highly unexpected. I stayed at the hospital all 8 days. He passed w/ my mom holding one hand & myself holding the other - as we watched him take his last 3 breaths.
I have no regrets, as I gave my dad my best. Yet, I was heartbroken. I cried so much the tears were burning my face. But, I am beyond thankful for the support I received. Some of the great friendships I established from blogging itself... reminded me sooo much of how blessed I am to have them in my life. Some of which I hadn't even spoken to in a grip. Folx were sending flowers, gift baskets, cards, money, texts, phone calls, bbm's, wanting to jump on airplanes... etc. My heart was sooo touched. And even though I wasn't at a point where I could talk... I was overwhelmed by how often y'all checked up on me (and still do). So, thank you. I count myself blessed. Y'all rock!
I was amazingly stronger than I thought I'd be at his funeral. I kept praying & praying for strength, because I wanted to speak at his funeral. I'm telling you, The Most High definitely answers prayers, as he afforded me strength beyond my wildest expectations, which allowed me to speak in tribute at his homegoing. It's been in the weeks afterwards where I've had my days of down from missing him. His bday was 5 days after his funeral, then my parent's anniversary, then Valentine's Day, then the church anniversary (my dad was an elder)... so it's been in the weeks after where I've had my bouts w/ the tears. I've been to his grave site 6 times already. =) Goodness, I'm asking myself why I'm choosing to blog about this now, as I'm in tears. But... I really wanted to share it. Trust me, I'm fine. I just realize that I'll always miss him. It's definitely okay to shed my tears now & then. It's part of the process. Anyhoo... my tribute is below. Read when you have time. It's not a necessary read, though. One of my girl's just asked me to share it - as she was at the funeral. =)
"As we celebrate the homegoing of my dad, I thought I'd share a few words regarding him & who he was to me.
What a blessing he was to those who knew & loved him. He was the most humble guy I've known. He was VERY giving, super knowledgeable & full of wisdom, very loving, a GREAT listener and an even better talker! He had a 100 watt smile that could light up a room & a laugh that was sooo contagious - especially when accompanied with one of his animated facial expressions. He loved his family, both immediate & extended; he loved his wife of 47 years (they would have celebrated 48 years a month from today); and most importantly, he loved the Lord.
My father was blessed with a trait that I believe very few of us have... and that's the ability to remain calm in the midst of a storm. And it didn't matter how turbulent the storm might have been; he ALWAYS kept it together. I can remember a couple of instances where I was two steps from acting the fool & my dad simply touching my shoulder & letting me know with just a look - "I've got this." By watching him, I learned the importance of thinking first and speaking second... as it absolutely makes a difference.
Having been very close to my dad, I've had the opportunity to share some great conversations with him. He loved to play golf and as a little girl, I LOVED to drive his golf cart; as it gave me the opportunity to talk to him & have daddy/ daughter time. I can remember when he first taught me how to drive a golf cart & how excited I was. Until I ran into the back of his close buddy (Mr. *Blank's*) brand new golf cart. Yikes! But this was one of the moments I was grateful for that calmness trait he was blessed with. I also remember my 1st golfing lesson, which he just happened to inconveniently choose on a busy day on the golf course - which meant that on every hole, there were a few people waiting for you to tee off so that they could in turn do the same. I was frustrated because I kept missing the ball & only hitting divets of grass, instead. I remember finally hitting the ball & aiming for it to go flying down the course; only for it to hit the ball washer to the front right of me & plop right back down in front of me. I remember the guys waiting to tee off, laughing. And yes, my dad was conveniently laughing along side of them. But, he quickly reassured me that with time & effort, I would get better and that it was okay because I tried. I learned humility & that it's okay to laugh at yourself from time to time. I also learned that practice makes permanent. So in my adult years I purchased my mom & I some golf shoes so we could take lessons. And although I'll never get the opportunity to beat him on the golf course, I'll forever have the opportunity to follow in his footsteps. =)
Years ago, after the Colum.bine shoot.ing, my dad & I were watching a memorial service on TV for one of the female victims. I looked over at my dad to see tears rolling from his eyes. I asked, "Did you know her?" His reply was, "No. But, I wish I did." And then my tears started to roll also. I also remember, early on, having a conversation with him about how I would go out of my way for friends or people & how since they never seemed to do the same, I was going to stop doing it. He promptly asked me, "Are you doing it to get something in return?" I said, "no. I do it because I like to see people smile or make them happy." He relied, "Then you've got to keep doing it." I learned that I was blessed to have the same caring/ giving hear as my dad. And although at times I feel like it's both my upswing & my downfall... I've learned that you don't have to know someone personally to be touched by their life story. And that's evident by the many of you who may not have known him personally, but simply came out to support someone who did, today. I also learned that great givers are great getters. And that's not in the materialistic sense, but in the aspects of love, respect, admiration, appreciation & inspiration.
On another instance, when an old ex boyfriend of mine, who - though we were no longer together, I, low key still thought might be my knight in shinning armor - called to tell me about his impending engagement and I cried my heart out for four days straight... I remember my dad comforting me & he simply said: "Do you want me to go out there & beat him up?!" I simply had to laugh through the tears at the though of him wanting to fight him at all. But, when I laughingly replied, no, dad... he simply hugged me & reminded me of how special I was & how it was his loss. He said, "Never forget not only WHO you are, but WHOSE you are... as your worth is not in ANY man down here, but rather in the MAN upstairs." He taught me that words have the power to tear down or uplift. And that when you chose the latter, you have the power to help rebuild someone who may feel the former... because people may not always remember what you've said, but they'll always remember how you made them feel.
Not too long ago, my dad & I were discussing life situations and out of the blue he smiled & stated: Never let anyone make you think that God is not God & that he doesn't care. And this was when it seemed to me that he had forgotten how to smile. That smile, once again, lit up the room - as well as my heart. You see... he taught me that God is STILL in control. That God sustains even in the midst of sadness. For I know that weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. My dad lived an AMAZING life. He was the total package. And although I already miss him so... I'm grateful for all of the years I was blessed to be able to spend with him. I have NO regrets, as I gave my dad my best. He was definitely loved & most definitely touched the hearts of many. If you can take anything with you from him, it was his attitude about life. Because always remember... if you have the right attitude, you will give birth to more in the future than you've lost in the past. So to the most humble guy I know... rest peacefully in heaven, dance like no one's watching & rejoice for the life you lived. No one will ever compare. I love you."
Anyhoo... Y'all have a great day! I'll be heading to my boxing class in a couple of hours so... I really need to get going. I'll be back this week, though... with something a lot different. Something a bit more upbeat. =)
Be blessed!
~BK
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Monday, December 28, 2009
Can't Sleep...
So... I'm sitting here in my bed, because I can't sleep. Been up since 3:17am (I started this Monday morning). I've been SUPER lazy this entire weekend. Haven't left the house since Christmas Day. *smh* Actually wanted to go shopping, just never actually seemed to get motivated to go do it. Since I'm laying here, quite bored--but unable to go back to sleep... I figured I'd try to blog. I actually chuckled a bit at the # of draft blogs I have that I never finished. This is kind of sad, considering how much I actually DO like to write. *sigh* Ah well... at least I'm here. =o)
Christmas was nice. I got to spoil the fam a bit. I said last year that I was going to stop playing Santa for folks who should be playing Santa, themselves... but once again, I did it anyway. I just refuse to let my nieces/ great nephew- go without. I realize that folks are strugglin' - but EVERY year... it seems to be the same ol' song & dance, whether complete with a story or not... my parents & I are always the ones "making it happen." And that's irregardless of whether WE'RE strugglin' or not. And not just at Christmas... I'm talking year round. I'm a giver. It's both my upswing & my downfall. However, I just don't get this isht. I'm soooo blessed that I grew up w/ the parents I have. Parents that would have done WHATEVER it took to keep me fed, safe & with the basic necessities. I seriously can't be thankful enough. And I remind them of this every chance I get. I put my nieces/nephew before me... I'm just wondering when their parents are going to follow suit. I'll post more on this on the private blog. Or maybe I won't. I don't know... we'll see. This stuff stirs up all kinds of emotions.
Speaking of parents... my Dad 's health hasn't been the greatest - for a minute. He suffers from PTSD and it's gradually getting worse. I've been stressing about this for close to (6) months. After losing (2) uncles this year... it's been a little unsettling in my mind. The last (3) months especially. While I had been trying to convince myself that I was not gonna stress about it (by not talking about it)... a trip to the doctor last month - a few weeks after returning from ATL for my bday - proved otherwise. I initially went in - due to severly low energy & excessive sleeping/being lethargic. Low & behold... My blood pressure was high, again. My BP is only high when I'm beyond stressed. *sigh* I sadly had no clue that I wasn't doing a good job of masking it - to myself. lol. Cause I can do a good job of masking it to everyone else. I do, however, thank God for my girls, Elle/Paige. They're about the only ones I had/have actually been discussing it with (outside of my male BFF). Albeit in small doses of moderation & even that's hard for me to do. Most times, anyway. Still I'm thankful for their ears, open arms & soothing/calming words.
Anyhoo... what else is new? Layoffs! Haven't been laid off, yet... but it's supposed to be coming. Most likely next month. When we rolled up under our parent company... the work we do--they have outsourced, so... the need for our dept. is - well... not needed. And while I'll tell you that I'm seriously not trying to stress about this at all... I'll be honest when I say that there are days when I'm not having the best of luck at this. lol... But if there's one thing I've definitely learned about myself, it's IN the valley's that I grow. I'm using this valley to boost me to the next level. =o) And who knows where that will take me. I'm definitely exploring the option of just going back to school full-time. (Thx for the encouragement, Lisa!)
Never the less... Good things are planned going forward. =o) Not waiting until 2010 to start. I started in 09. Why put off until the new year what you can do today? lol. One thing I actually did learn is how to stop letting folks run over/ mistreat me. I had completely had it with being the bigger person re: foolishness with friends - shortly before my birthday. On this one, I must say... I've held my ground & haven't thought twice about looking back. It's interesting that people I never expected to approach me/reach out to me, have done just the opposite, this year. I seriously had clowned someone in a way I held off doing for madd years, last month. And surprisingly, even this individual has reached out unexpectedly. Considering I was FAR from being even remotely in the ballpark of nice to this person & even gave her the website to Cigna to look for a psychologist in her area, that mess was BEYOND a surprise. So would it be odd to accept a dinner invite @ the crib next week when I'm in town? Wowzers! I'm just no longer apologizing for stuff that isn't my fault. For what? So people can sock it to you again & still not apologize? No thanks. Off that ship. Especially when I've got plenty else on my plate to consume my energy. However, if I come up missing next week... Cigna.com did it! lol...
And speaking of energy... why did my doc figure out that my Vitamin D levels were/are extremely low?! I had to have all kinds of test ran on me to figure out exactly why I did have zero(not low, but none) energy/excessive sleep. I'm currently on a prescription of 57,000 IU's a week of Vitamin D.
There are good things going on, tho. I joined a bootcamp, back when I was trying to figure out a way to boost my energy level. Thought I was gonna fall out after the first class. Goodness, these folks work your tail! When I tell you I couldn't even lift the towel above my head for stretches at the end of the class & thought I was going to vomit, I'm being gracious. I had somewhere to go right after the class & parked in the handicap spot. lol... I'm sooo much better at it, now. This has been my 1st month. This is my last week of my 1st month and I love it! Going to at least do another month of it, possibly two. I'm getting a new car - YAAAASSS! I'd tell you what it is, but that will have to wait until the keys are in my hand. =o) It will be brand spankin' new, though! OWWWWW! The guy I had previously been seeing and deemed "the one" & I are back on speaking terms. *smdh* (That's ALL I'm going to say on that one). I'm going to TX in Jan & Feb and DC in March. And that freakin' Burger King - Cupcake Shake is giving me life!! And I don't even like ice cream! Btw... this chick on Good Morning America's off-white wool coat is the freakin' BOMB! I need it in my life.
Oh and lastly, my niece actually participated in the Jack & Jill - 2009 Beautillion (pics on FB). Goodness... I was smiles from ear to ear. She looked beautiful! Love her! Despite the initial shock of the cost of this thing... it was fabulous. I did, however, return that $70 bra like I said I was going to do. Only to have to pay an additional $450 for alterations, the addition of the capped sleeves, her hair & tixs to the event. *blank stare* It was beyond worth it for her, though. Only to be handed the papers to the Debutante Ball (this weekend)- to be hosted by the Owl's Club... and to see it'll be $325 for her & her escorts dinner. $165.00 dinner, people? GTFOH! Wasn't even that much for Jack & Jill's dinner! Lucky she'll be wearing the same dress, otherwise that mess would be a wrap! I can tell you I don't get out as much as I need to, anymore... because they did a line stroll in to Michael Jackson's - 'Rock with You' and... my tail was ready to hop up outta that seat, find my own Beau & get it crackin'! *smh* Then... the dude I used to date showed up w/ his girl & I was making sure I was seen. Don't ask why. I haven't figured that isht out yet, myself. I don't want him. (Although he is a lawyer & did look cute in his tux)... but, I was adding all kinds of extra switches in my step. TRUST, I was lookin' dayum flyy. The girl at the MAC store (Megan)... hooked my isht up for *drumroll please...* $14.00! I went in for some eyelashes/eyes done... chick did my dayum face. If ever there was a day that you couldn't tell me I wasn't fine (which is ANY time I get eyelashes on, btw)... THAT day/night was IT! lol... But, I seriously had to laugh at myself when I thought about that mess. It was sooo unnecessary. lol...
Btw... life is good, even when it's stressful. I'm learning to make the best of the situation. I relish in the fact that although my dad's health is deteriorating... I still have him here & more memories to create & indulge in. Although layoffs are imminent... that some endings are the beginnings I've been longing for. =o) Although my energy level was low & my sleep level was high, I know what was/is causing it & I love that it can be fixed and I gained my workout mojo back. I love that I can admit when I'm wrong & that when I'm right, it's okay to stand my ground. I'll always be grateful for great friendships... & even rekindling old ones, when warranted. And lastly, I'm grateful that the Most High has continuously blessed me with the ability to be a blessing in others lives. Sometimes I may hate that I'm so giving, but I still know that it is better to give than to recieve; for the greater the giving, the greater the living.
Be blessed,
~BK
Christmas was nice. I got to spoil the fam a bit. I said last year that I was going to stop playing Santa for folks who should be playing Santa, themselves... but once again, I did it anyway. I just refuse to let my nieces/ great nephew- go without. I realize that folks are strugglin' - but EVERY year... it seems to be the same ol' song & dance, whether complete with a story or not... my parents & I are always the ones "making it happen." And that's irregardless of whether WE'RE strugglin' or not. And not just at Christmas... I'm talking year round. I'm a giver. It's both my upswing & my downfall. However, I just don't get this isht. I'm soooo blessed that I grew up w/ the parents I have. Parents that would have done WHATEVER it took to keep me fed, safe & with the basic necessities. I seriously can't be thankful enough. And I remind them of this every chance I get. I put my nieces/nephew before me... I'm just wondering when their parents are going to follow suit. I'll post more on this on the private blog. Or maybe I won't. I don't know... we'll see. This stuff stirs up all kinds of emotions.
Speaking of parents... my Dad 's health hasn't been the greatest - for a minute. He suffers from PTSD and it's gradually getting worse. I've been stressing about this for close to (6) months. After losing (2) uncles this year... it's been a little unsettling in my mind. The last (3) months especially. While I had been trying to convince myself that I was not gonna stress about it (by not talking about it)... a trip to the doctor last month - a few weeks after returning from ATL for my bday - proved otherwise. I initially went in - due to severly low energy & excessive sleeping/being lethargic. Low & behold... My blood pressure was high, again. My BP is only high when I'm beyond stressed. *sigh* I sadly had no clue that I wasn't doing a good job of masking it - to myself. lol. Cause I can do a good job of masking it to everyone else. I do, however, thank God for my girls, Elle/Paige. They're about the only ones I had/have actually been discussing it with (outside of my male BFF). Albeit in small doses of moderation & even that's hard for me to do. Most times, anyway. Still I'm thankful for their ears, open arms & soothing/calming words.
Anyhoo... what else is new? Layoffs! Haven't been laid off, yet... but it's supposed to be coming. Most likely next month. When we rolled up under our parent company... the work we do--they have outsourced, so... the need for our dept. is - well... not needed. And while I'll tell you that I'm seriously not trying to stress about this at all... I'll be honest when I say that there are days when I'm not having the best of luck at this. lol... But if there's one thing I've definitely learned about myself, it's IN the valley's that I grow. I'm using this valley to boost me to the next level. =o) And who knows where that will take me. I'm definitely exploring the option of just going back to school full-time. (Thx for the encouragement, Lisa!)
Never the less... Good things are planned going forward. =o) Not waiting until 2010 to start. I started in 09. Why put off until the new year what you can do today? lol. One thing I actually did learn is how to stop letting folks run over/ mistreat me. I had completely had it with being the bigger person re: foolishness with friends - shortly before my birthday. On this one, I must say... I've held my ground & haven't thought twice about looking back. It's interesting that people I never expected to approach me/reach out to me, have done just the opposite, this year. I seriously had clowned someone in a way I held off doing for madd years, last month. And surprisingly, even this individual has reached out unexpectedly. Considering I was FAR from being even remotely in the ballpark of nice to this person & even gave her the website to Cigna to look for a psychologist in her area, that mess was BEYOND a surprise. So would it be odd to accept a dinner invite @ the crib next week when I'm in town? Wowzers! I'm just no longer apologizing for stuff that isn't my fault. For what? So people can sock it to you again & still not apologize? No thanks. Off that ship. Especially when I've got plenty else on my plate to consume my energy. However, if I come up missing next week... Cigna.com did it! lol...
And speaking of energy... why did my doc figure out that my Vitamin D levels were/are extremely low?! I had to have all kinds of test ran on me to figure out exactly why I did have zero(not low, but none) energy/excessive sleep. I'm currently on a prescription of 57,000 IU's a week of Vitamin D.
There are good things going on, tho. I joined a bootcamp, back when I was trying to figure out a way to boost my energy level. Thought I was gonna fall out after the first class. Goodness, these folks work your tail! When I tell you I couldn't even lift the towel above my head for stretches at the end of the class & thought I was going to vomit, I'm being gracious. I had somewhere to go right after the class & parked in the handicap spot. lol... I'm sooo much better at it, now. This has been my 1st month. This is my last week of my 1st month and I love it! Going to at least do another month of it, possibly two. I'm getting a new car - YAAAASSS! I'd tell you what it is, but that will have to wait until the keys are in my hand. =o) It will be brand spankin' new, though! OWWWWW! The guy I had previously been seeing and deemed "the one" & I are back on speaking terms. *smdh* (That's ALL I'm going to say on that one). I'm going to TX in Jan & Feb and DC in March. And that freakin' Burger King - Cupcake Shake is giving me life!! And I don't even like ice cream! Btw... this chick on Good Morning America's off-white wool coat is the freakin' BOMB! I need it in my life.
Oh and lastly, my niece actually participated in the Jack & Jill - 2009 Beautillion (pics on FB). Goodness... I was smiles from ear to ear. She looked beautiful! Love her! Despite the initial shock of the cost of this thing... it was fabulous. I did, however, return that $70 bra like I said I was going to do. Only to have to pay an additional $450 for alterations, the addition of the capped sleeves, her hair & tixs to the event. *blank stare* It was beyond worth it for her, though. Only to be handed the papers to the Debutante Ball (this weekend)- to be hosted by the Owl's Club... and to see it'll be $325 for her & her escorts dinner. $165.00 dinner, people? GTFOH! Wasn't even that much for Jack & Jill's dinner! Lucky she'll be wearing the same dress, otherwise that mess would be a wrap! I can tell you I don't get out as much as I need to, anymore... because they did a line stroll in to Michael Jackson's - 'Rock with You' and... my tail was ready to hop up outta that seat, find my own Beau & get it crackin'! *smh* Then... the dude I used to date showed up w/ his girl & I was making sure I was seen. Don't ask why. I haven't figured that isht out yet, myself. I don't want him. (Although he is a lawyer & did look cute in his tux)... but, I was adding all kinds of extra switches in my step. TRUST, I was lookin' dayum flyy. The girl at the MAC store (Megan)... hooked my isht up for *drumroll please...* $14.00! I went in for some eyelashes/eyes done... chick did my dayum face. If ever there was a day that you couldn't tell me I wasn't fine (which is ANY time I get eyelashes on, btw)... THAT day/night was IT! lol... But, I seriously had to laugh at myself when I thought about that mess. It was sooo unnecessary. lol...
Btw... life is good, even when it's stressful. I'm learning to make the best of the situation. I relish in the fact that although my dad's health is deteriorating... I still have him here & more memories to create & indulge in. Although layoffs are imminent... that some endings are the beginnings I've been longing for. =o) Although my energy level was low & my sleep level was high, I know what was/is causing it & I love that it can be fixed and I gained my workout mojo back. I love that I can admit when I'm wrong & that when I'm right, it's okay to stand my ground. I'll always be grateful for great friendships... & even rekindling old ones, when warranted. And lastly, I'm grateful that the Most High has continuously blessed me with the ability to be a blessing in others lives. Sometimes I may hate that I'm so giving, but I still know that it is better to give than to recieve; for the greater the giving, the greater the living.
Be blessed,
~BK
Monday, September 28, 2009
Here I Am...
This blogging thing seems to be few & far between.
Everytime I blog now... I feel like I'm starting off by saying... "I know it's been a minute..." *smh*
I'm going to try to start blogging consistently, though. Writing has always been a "release" for me, so I might as well get more active. =o) So... once again (in my Rick Ross background song voice), Here I Am...
It's okay, I guess. Most of y'all haven't been blogging, either. Some of y'all in years (if ever). But... Life happens, I guess. People get busy w/ it & it just ends up being what it is.
Nothing to complain about, over here, though. My business mentor shared w/ me (something that was shared w/ him by his business mentor), "successful people are having a good day, everyday." And while I'm trying to subscribe to that train of thinking... I still feel like I want to wham bam a few folks upside the head every now and again. *sigh* Thankfully... I'm REALLY learning how to just - Keep it Moving. =o) And truthfully, he even had to admit that bad days are just natural. I guess the key is, not letting the masses see you having one, I guess. I don't know. Either way... no complaints over here. I've been loving life and the skin I'm in, as of late. Working on me & am HAPPY to be doing it! =o) I'm blessed. Seriously.
This weekend, I ended up @ David's Bridal for 2 hours. =o) Yes folks... it's about that time. And no, I'm not getting married. It's Beautillion season & my niece is going to be an escort! Then event is put on by Jack & Jill, which (3) of my girlfriends are a part of and of course, they/I got my niece in. I thought she'd enjoy it. Plus, I REALLY want her to meet some new friends. Cause the "trifflin'" ones she hangs around @ school... are off, at times. I know it's only H.S. but... I find myself ready to clown a heffa at her expense - when she tells me how foul they're acting towards her at times. *sigh* But I'm just glad they feel like they can talk to me about the foolishness & come to me for advice. Anyhoo... my nieces are doing well in school. Both are on the cheerleading squads & honor roll. But it's my middle niece's senior year. She's the captain of the cheerleading squad, in all honors classes, in the National Honor Society & has an intership at a hospital (that one of her counselors got her), as she wants to become a pediatrician. I'm proud. But Jesus be a stab wound, if I didn't realize that escort dress was going to cost a grip! Bejeezus! Those jokers are EXPENSIVE. Wedding dress expensive. But the dress she & I picked out is BEAUTIFUL! Did I mention that the bra, alone, was $71.00? I almost choked on my spit when the lady told me that. Um, trust me when I tell you... that bra WILL be going back! I don't even own a $70 bra! No ma'am! My girlfriend in J/J called me later to tell me she forgot to tell me not to buy the bra. No worries... I got my mind right shortly after I left there. lol... Dayum, though. Kids are EXPENSIVE! I JUST bought (2) homecoming dresses, had their make-up done at MAC & bought accessories two weeks ago. Seriously. And then their dad thought he was gonna call me about her senior pics. Uh... sorry, but uh... no sir'ree, buddy! I know he's strugglin' but uh... *ish! I can't be everything to everyone! I have to take care of ME, too! Anyhoo... she had a good time meeting the girls (some of which she knew) & hanging out. And I love it, because they have all these workshops for the escorts/beau's... one of which is a two-part series for the escorts entitled: 'Loving the Skin You're In' and I'm geeked about that.
I also attended a surprise birthday party for my girl, Paige, this weekend @ this fabulous place called, 'Hapa Sushi Grill'. Lawd, was the food schlammin'! We had something called a double screaming orgasm (don't ask what it was, it was some kind of fried sushi smothered in this sauce). I thought I was gonna faint. It was THAT good! They also had some seasoned edamame... and the way we were sucking the juice off the pea pods & shuckin' them peas out w/ our teeth/tongues... you'd have thought we were homeless. I had (2) Jamaican 10-speeds, too (that I smashed down like it was kool-aid), as well. Her boy, John, got on the mic & sang Happy Birthday... which brought her to tears. It was such a treat. Cause when we were planning it, NONE of us wanted to celebrate it at the club. Owww! Somehow, we ended up trying to go - afterwards... but luckily, we didn't get in. I was a debbie downer on the club, though. But she was beyond surprised & touched.
Speaking of birthdays... I'm celebrating mine in ATL, this year! Can't wait! Surprisingly, soooo many of my chica's/chico's have signed on to come. I'm super geeked. Now, I'm cautioned on who will actually show up & who won't, though. I learned a LONG time ago that folks will say one thing & then come up w/ a myriad of excuses as to why they can't/won't, later. I know we're in a recession, so everyone won't have the fundage. But what I do know is... there could be (3) of us, and I will be making the most of it. And I've got something planned that I've wanted to do for a grip! I'm truly excited. And this from someone who thinks birthdays are over-rated.
Anyhoo... surprisingly, I have A LOT more to talk about (not surprising, considering the length of time that has passed since the last post. Lucky for you... my energy level is SHOT. Got a 5am workout so... I've got to end this piece.
Be blessed!
~BK
P.S. Did I mention how much I need these in my life?
http://www.zappos.com/images/z/9/9/8/998528-p-DETAILED.jpg
Everytime I blog now... I feel like I'm starting off by saying... "I know it's been a minute..." *smh*
I'm going to try to start blogging consistently, though. Writing has always been a "release" for me, so I might as well get more active. =o) So... once again (in my Rick Ross background song voice), Here I Am...
It's okay, I guess. Most of y'all haven't been blogging, either. Some of y'all in years (if ever). But... Life happens, I guess. People get busy w/ it & it just ends up being what it is.
Nothing to complain about, over here, though. My business mentor shared w/ me (something that was shared w/ him by his business mentor), "successful people are having a good day, everyday." And while I'm trying to subscribe to that train of thinking... I still feel like I want to wham bam a few folks upside the head every now and again. *sigh* Thankfully... I'm REALLY learning how to just - Keep it Moving. =o) And truthfully, he even had to admit that bad days are just natural. I guess the key is, not letting the masses see you having one, I guess. I don't know. Either way... no complaints over here. I've been loving life and the skin I'm in, as of late. Working on me & am HAPPY to be doing it! =o) I'm blessed. Seriously.
This weekend, I ended up @ David's Bridal for 2 hours. =o) Yes folks... it's about that time. And no, I'm not getting married. It's Beautillion season & my niece is going to be an escort! Then event is put on by Jack & Jill, which (3) of my girlfriends are a part of and of course, they/I got my niece in. I thought she'd enjoy it. Plus, I REALLY want her to meet some new friends. Cause the "trifflin'" ones she hangs around @ school... are off, at times. I know it's only H.S. but... I find myself ready to clown a heffa at her expense - when she tells me how foul they're acting towards her at times. *sigh* But I'm just glad they feel like they can talk to me about the foolishness & come to me for advice. Anyhoo... my nieces are doing well in school. Both are on the cheerleading squads & honor roll. But it's my middle niece's senior year. She's the captain of the cheerleading squad, in all honors classes, in the National Honor Society & has an intership at a hospital (that one of her counselors got her), as she wants to become a pediatrician. I'm proud. But Jesus be a stab wound, if I didn't realize that escort dress was going to cost a grip! Bejeezus! Those jokers are EXPENSIVE. Wedding dress expensive. But the dress she & I picked out is BEAUTIFUL! Did I mention that the bra, alone, was $71.00? I almost choked on my spit when the lady told me that. Um, trust me when I tell you... that bra WILL be going back! I don't even own a $70 bra! No ma'am! My girlfriend in J/J called me later to tell me she forgot to tell me not to buy the bra. No worries... I got my mind right shortly after I left there. lol... Dayum, though. Kids are EXPENSIVE! I JUST bought (2) homecoming dresses, had their make-up done at MAC & bought accessories two weeks ago. Seriously. And then their dad thought he was gonna call me about her senior pics. Uh... sorry, but uh... no sir'ree, buddy! I know he's strugglin' but uh... *ish! I can't be everything to everyone! I have to take care of ME, too! Anyhoo... she had a good time meeting the girls (some of which she knew) & hanging out. And I love it, because they have all these workshops for the escorts/beau's... one of which is a two-part series for the escorts entitled: 'Loving the Skin You're In' and I'm geeked about that.
I also attended a surprise birthday party for my girl, Paige, this weekend @ this fabulous place called, 'Hapa Sushi Grill'. Lawd, was the food schlammin'! We had something called a double screaming orgasm (don't ask what it was, it was some kind of fried sushi smothered in this sauce). I thought I was gonna faint. It was THAT good! They also had some seasoned edamame... and the way we were sucking the juice off the pea pods & shuckin' them peas out w/ our teeth/tongues... you'd have thought we were homeless. I had (2) Jamaican 10-speeds, too (that I smashed down like it was kool-aid), as well. Her boy, John, got on the mic & sang Happy Birthday... which brought her to tears. It was such a treat. Cause when we were planning it, NONE of us wanted to celebrate it at the club. Owww! Somehow, we ended up trying to go - afterwards... but luckily, we didn't get in. I was a debbie downer on the club, though. But she was beyond surprised & touched.
Speaking of birthdays... I'm celebrating mine in ATL, this year! Can't wait! Surprisingly, soooo many of my chica's/chico's have signed on to come. I'm super geeked. Now, I'm cautioned on who will actually show up & who won't, though. I learned a LONG time ago that folks will say one thing & then come up w/ a myriad of excuses as to why they can't/won't, later. I know we're in a recession, so everyone won't have the fundage. But what I do know is... there could be (3) of us, and I will be making the most of it. And I've got something planned that I've wanted to do for a grip! I'm truly excited. And this from someone who thinks birthdays are over-rated.
Anyhoo... surprisingly, I have A LOT more to talk about (not surprising, considering the length of time that has passed since the last post. Lucky for you... my energy level is SHOT. Got a 5am workout so... I've got to end this piece.
Be blessed!
~BK
P.S. Did I mention how much I need these in my life?
http://www.zappos.com/images/z/9/9/8/998528-p-DETAILED.jpg
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Updated blogging...
It's been a minute since I wrote on this blog...
Actually... longer than a minute.
I'd lost my writing mojo, more or less.
Or actually... the energy.
I actually wrote this post about a two months ago.
My uncle passed in Feb...
And since I originally wrote this post, another uncle passed. (June 10th)
Working madd hours...
Being madd tired...
Went to Vegas for a girls get-a-way - and was STILL tired.
Went on a 2nd Vegas get-a-way. STILL tired. *smh*
But if I could just pause for the cause & interject right quick and say something:
I'm really over folks disliking me for no apparent reason. I don't get it.
It's no longer something I'm even trying to understand, tho. It just is what it is.
Btw... all the additions I added to this blog are in itallics.
Went to Baltimore (for work) but caught up w/ another blogging buddy & friend. =o)
Matter of fact... I've met a plethora of my blogging buddies, now. There's only a few I have yet to meet.
Dani, Aki, Carla, Cam, etc. But Cam & I will be meeting up in August! =o)
But, I've decided to get focused on my focus. =o)
And it's been long overdue. Yes sir! I've decided to get me a new business mentor! I still have my old one, so to speak... but I've been watching NPR - Profiles of Urban Entreprenuers on BET (surprise! BET actually has a few decent programs) and... watching these folks has really started to get me motivated. And if I'm being honest... I NEEDED a lil' push in the motivation department. I mean... I'm working in my career field and I enjoy it (most of the time), but... In reading my 'Morning Tea' the other day, it read: "It's hard to find satisfaction halfway up someone else's corporate ladder"... I immediately thought - ain't that the truth. So, the day spa that I want to own; note own vs. work in - I've got to start making some moves to get things going in that direction. The foundation that I want to start... ditto. The chapter of 100 BW that I'd like to start - (nods head at my baby sis, Adwoa)... it's ALL doable. I'm anxious to get started. =o)
Met a new guy and I'll just leave it at that. But he makes me extremely happy. =o) (Although, in my current state of writing, ie. TODAY - I'm currently extra pissy w/ him). Anyhoo... he's not so much new, as he's a guy I used to attend college with - way back when. But, reconnecting with him has been - beyond what my heart envisioned. Seriously. Listening to my Raheem DeVaughn today at work - and actually listened to the words of 'Mo Better'... Good Lord! Thoughts of him are all up & through that song. God has definitely smiled on me... Indeed. =o) My song of the moment, tho.. "Beautiful" - by Musiq Soulchild.
There is, indeed, a new online magazine!! (Shout out to my girl, Danielle H, for chasing her dream & making it a reality!) So proud of you, ma'ma! Anyhoo... the name of the magazine is: Urbane Perspective Magazine. And we can be found at http://www.urbaneperspectivemag.com/. Do log on & sign up for the mailing list!! I am an editor, but I have yet to really start in w/ my articles. Have had a lot going on. But it's about to be on & poppin'! =o)
So... that was the original blog. And can you believe I actually have more to add? Of course you can (if you really know me). I've been feelin' some type of way about a couple of different things. And I realize that I've allowed folks words/opinions seep in & affect me and even had me censoring my own words - for a really long time. And excuse my french, but FUKK THAT! I was reading Joyce Meyer's twitter page today (as if Joyce Meyer and a 'fukk that' go hand in hand... lol)- when I came across this quote: "We're not really free until we're free from the need to impress other people." And I actually hate that I've been more conditioned to care what others think, in the last couple of years - than the old me who would just write a jokers opinion of me off in a New York minute. Even on foolishness, I used to work on the 3 strike rule (which was really two) & my BF at the time used to be like... you will just cut a joker off w/ the quickness. I used to only give two strikes, as my reasoning had always been... if you get two strikes, you'll most certainly get the third; so I'd cut my losses early. lol... *sigh* But gone are the days of that scorpio trait. Joyce also said: "Discipline enables you to think first and act second." - Amen. So even though I had been censoring myself, I had to admit to myself that I also believe there's discipline in silence. And there's definite power in not feeding into the negativitiy by lashing out. But lol @ the 'my friend doesn't like you so neither do I, 6th grade behavior.' Really? Thankfully I've long been outta the 6th grade. I have no plans of catching the bus back, either. And as Jose so eloquently put it this week, "If you hate me... well, at least you feel something." Okay, okay... my bad. I just had to say it. I just don't get it. But, once again, Joyce hit me w/ a quote, "When nothing makes sense, Trust God Anyway!"
But, there's beauty in every struggle. Yes, yes. There are lessons to be gained, learned & applied from every situation; good, bad or ugly. But one thing I do know... life's too short to be putting energy into negativity. Especially after I've had (2) uncles die w/in (3) months of each other. Life is too short to be trying to live up to someone elses expectations; when you should be striving to live up to your own. Life is too short to be putting your life on hold; waiting on someone to do what needs to be done. Do it yourself or keep it moving. Lifes to short to be holding grudges. If you care/appreciate/love that person, forgiveness always gives you power. And lastly, life is far too great to not indulge yourself in His blessings. Never let anyone or anything be a hinderance to your blessings. I am definitely talking to myself as I typed those last few lines. I am loving my growth as I walk w/ The Most High. I realize that in all the things that might make me sad, mad or stressed out - God has smiled on me! He has shown up & is showing out in my life. Trust, I am grateful.
Well... let me run, it's the winding down of my Father's Day. Special shout out to my Dad. Too many times I hear others looking to "celebrities" to be their role model. Blessed is the one who was raised by one. I love my dad for everything he's instilled in me, everything he's given me & everything he's been & continues to be to me. I'm beyond blessed.
Be Blessed,
~BK
Actually... longer than a minute.
I'd lost my writing mojo, more or less.
Or actually... the energy.
I actually wrote this post about a two months ago.
My uncle passed in Feb...
And since I originally wrote this post, another uncle passed. (June 10th)
Working madd hours...
Being madd tired...
Went to Vegas for a girls get-a-way - and was STILL tired.
Went on a 2nd Vegas get-a-way. STILL tired. *smh*
But if I could just pause for the cause & interject right quick and say something:
I'm really over folks disliking me for no apparent reason. I don't get it.
It's no longer something I'm even trying to understand, tho. It just is what it is.
Btw... all the additions I added to this blog are in itallics.
Went to Baltimore (for work) but caught up w/ another blogging buddy & friend. =o)
Matter of fact... I've met a plethora of my blogging buddies, now. There's only a few I have yet to meet.
Dani, Aki, Carla, Cam, etc. But Cam & I will be meeting up in August! =o)
But, I've decided to get focused on my focus. =o)
And it's been long overdue. Yes sir! I've decided to get me a new business mentor! I still have my old one, so to speak... but I've been watching NPR - Profiles of Urban Entreprenuers on BET (surprise! BET actually has a few decent programs) and... watching these folks has really started to get me motivated. And if I'm being honest... I NEEDED a lil' push in the motivation department. I mean... I'm working in my career field and I enjoy it (most of the time), but... In reading my 'Morning Tea' the other day, it read: "It's hard to find satisfaction halfway up someone else's corporate ladder"... I immediately thought - ain't that the truth. So, the day spa that I want to own; note own vs. work in - I've got to start making some moves to get things going in that direction. The foundation that I want to start... ditto. The chapter of 100 BW that I'd like to start - (nods head at my baby sis, Adwoa)... it's ALL doable. I'm anxious to get started. =o)
Met a new guy and I'll just leave it at that. But he makes me extremely happy. =o) (Although, in my current state of writing, ie. TODAY - I'm currently extra pissy w/ him). Anyhoo... he's not so much new, as he's a guy I used to attend college with - way back when. But, reconnecting with him has been - beyond what my heart envisioned. Seriously. Listening to my Raheem DeVaughn today at work - and actually listened to the words of 'Mo Better'... Good Lord! Thoughts of him are all up & through that song. God has definitely smiled on me... Indeed. =o) My song of the moment, tho.. "Beautiful" - by Musiq Soulchild.
There is, indeed, a new online magazine!! (Shout out to my girl, Danielle H, for chasing her dream & making it a reality!) So proud of you, ma'ma! Anyhoo... the name of the magazine is: Urbane Perspective Magazine. And we can be found at http://www.urbaneperspectivemag.com/. Do log on & sign up for the mailing list!! I am an editor, but I have yet to really start in w/ my articles. Have had a lot going on. But it's about to be on & poppin'! =o)
So... that was the original blog. And can you believe I actually have more to add? Of course you can (if you really know me). I've been feelin' some type of way about a couple of different things. And I realize that I've allowed folks words/opinions seep in & affect me and even had me censoring my own words - for a really long time. And excuse my french, but FUKK THAT! I was reading Joyce Meyer's twitter page today (as if Joyce Meyer and a 'fukk that' go hand in hand... lol)- when I came across this quote: "We're not really free until we're free from the need to impress other people." And I actually hate that I've been more conditioned to care what others think, in the last couple of years - than the old me who would just write a jokers opinion of me off in a New York minute. Even on foolishness, I used to work on the 3 strike rule (which was really two) & my BF at the time used to be like... you will just cut a joker off w/ the quickness. I used to only give two strikes, as my reasoning had always been... if you get two strikes, you'll most certainly get the third; so I'd cut my losses early. lol... *sigh* But gone are the days of that scorpio trait. Joyce also said: "Discipline enables you to think first and act second." - Amen. So even though I had been censoring myself, I had to admit to myself that I also believe there's discipline in silence. And there's definite power in not feeding into the negativitiy by lashing out. But lol @ the 'my friend doesn't like you so neither do I, 6th grade behavior.' Really? Thankfully I've long been outta the 6th grade. I have no plans of catching the bus back, either. And as Jose so eloquently put it this week, "If you hate me... well, at least you feel something." Okay, okay... my bad. I just had to say it. I just don't get it. But, once again, Joyce hit me w/ a quote, "When nothing makes sense, Trust God Anyway!"
But, there's beauty in every struggle. Yes, yes. There are lessons to be gained, learned & applied from every situation; good, bad or ugly. But one thing I do know... life's too short to be putting energy into negativity. Especially after I've had (2) uncles die w/in (3) months of each other. Life is too short to be trying to live up to someone elses expectations; when you should be striving to live up to your own. Life is too short to be putting your life on hold; waiting on someone to do what needs to be done. Do it yourself or keep it moving. Lifes to short to be holding grudges. If you care/appreciate/love that person, forgiveness always gives you power. And lastly, life is far too great to not indulge yourself in His blessings. Never let anyone or anything be a hinderance to your blessings. I am definitely talking to myself as I typed those last few lines. I am loving my growth as I walk w/ The Most High. I realize that in all the things that might make me sad, mad or stressed out - God has smiled on me! He has shown up & is showing out in my life. Trust, I am grateful.
Well... let me run, it's the winding down of my Father's Day. Special shout out to my Dad. Too many times I hear others looking to "celebrities" to be their role model. Blessed is the one who was raised by one. I love my dad for everything he's instilled in me, everything he's given me & everything he's been & continues to be to me. I'm beyond blessed.
Be Blessed,
~BK
Saturday, May 9, 2009
The Long Road Home...
It's been a minute...
but, I'm about to get it crackin' up in here, again.
Gonna be an editor for a new & upcoming online magazine...
http://www.urbaneperspectivemag.com
Login & sign up for the mailing list. =o) The launch is this month!
Be back later w/ the rest of my blog...
I started typing it earlier in the week, but have yet to finish. =o( Changing up my email distro and going to revamp this page. =o) It's long overdue. But I'm on the long road back to home; my writing. Stay tuned...
Be Blessed,
~BK
but, I'm about to get it crackin' up in here, again.
Gonna be an editor for a new & upcoming online magazine...
http://www.urbaneperspectivemag.com
Login & sign up for the mailing list. =o) The launch is this month!
Be back later w/ the rest of my blog...
I started typing it earlier in the week, but have yet to finish. =o( Changing up my email distro and going to revamp this page. =o) It's long overdue. But I'm on the long road back to home; my writing. Stay tuned...
Be Blessed,
~BK
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Out with the old, In with the new...
Didn't know initially if I was going to share this read on my blog. A couple of you have already read it via email. But I rec'd so many nice replies that it really had a sistah a lil' choked up & emotional. But after talking to my baby sis about it, I decided to share. It's lengthy... but as Nabs told me the last night, the longer the better! lol...
My 2008 in Review....
Wow... what a year it's been. I haven't had this rough a year in all of my existence. But the one thing I'm grateful for... is after being knocked down, torn down & even beat down with fear, doubt & emotions... I was/am STILL able to get up, shake the dust off, LEARN from it & keep moving forward. Is it easy? Not always. But that's one of the lesson's I've learned. It's okay to get down, yes. But it's NOT okay to stay there.
My year started out w/ me unemployed. And not just unemployed, but unemployed for the 1st 4 1/2 months, carried over from the last month of 2007. If you would have ever asked me if I saw that coming, I would have wholeheartedly shot you down. Out of work for 5 1/2 months? Never. Yet... there I was. Strugglin'. And in ways I've never struggled before. I was on a roller coaster ride of widespread emotions. I'd talk myself up & out of my funk... and then let uncertainty & doubt carry me right back into it. I remember writing in my blog about losing when I should be winning (in the middle of the year). I wrote:
"I guess you can't always win, huh? Maybe that's what's wrong with my so called life. I'm used to always winning. But over the last few years... I've been losing like a mutha sucka. (Err... um... sort of.) Losing friends (well, two. One of which I can truly say I don't miss as SHE'S the one who LOST her mind)... losing jobs (laid off twice)... NOT getting the jobs I'm USED to getting and thus questioning (or losing) my fiyah... losing weight, then gaining; then losing again... sometimes just due to stress. Losing money (pay cuts are a b!tch). Losing contracts. Losing my creative process. Losing my MIND. Losing w/ men. (Feel free to stop me at anytime =o)...) But... I guess them jokers are losing out on me, right? Losing the fight at keeping my winning swagger in tact (at times) or the up & down's of the taste of starting to win a little bit... only to get knocked back down to the feeling of "I can't win for losing," again. *sigh* I'm losing my patience."
Wow. Self reflection will fuel your fire to keep going, no? =o) But, I can't tell you how many "How did I get here" moments... and "Come to Jesus meetings" of self reflection I had w/ myself during the year. *sigh*
Ended up with a serious case of the flu. And as a matter of fact, thought I was going to die. I have NEVER been that sick in my life. Couple that w/ the fact that I was unemployed & uninsured, it took the meaning of a double edged sword to a whole different level. Imagine that... me, uninsured. Yeah, well... I couldn't. Didn't want to go to the ER, either. All because I couldn't fathom racking up a massive bill for a trip to that joint. But... I couldn't breathe. My choices were die or live. Or at least, so I thought. I obviously chose the latter. Imagine my pride coming full circle when the nurse came in to see me & asked, "What type of insurance I had?" *smh* Geeze... I had to muster up the strength to say, "None." And my surprise when she responded to me with, "That's okay." They're running tests & hooking me up to a breathing machine. The lady comes back & says they're going to be doing (3) chest x-rays. I kid you not, when I tell you that the first thing that was going through my head was to ask her... "Um, how much for a chest x-ray? And did I really need (3) as opposed to (1)?" But they needed to make sure the flu hadn't turned into Pneumonia. In the end, I can't even begin to express the level of my gratefulness on how much my bill was. Or the fact that I ended up being okay. But once again, God was blessing me in the midst of my storm.
That wouldn't be my only trip to the ER in 08. Ended back in the ER in August for a rash on my foot. Something so minute turned into something huge, as I apparently was having an allergic reaction to the fungus in the rash - which brought on more things to deal with. My face & eyes were swelling like crazy, the reaction I developed had my hands, feet, elbows, arms & knees breaking out w/ these clusters that sent me into over-stressed mode. I ultimately was put on anti-fungal creams, anti-bacterial meds, steroid creams & benadryl. My blood pressure shot up to an extremely unsafe level - because stress was beatin' me up like I stole something... And I didn't even know it.
I took a contract gig, only to get let go due to "budget cuts" (clearly the economy wasn't getting better) and the 2nd one, just to have an income coming in while I figured out my next move. It was time to bat down & switch up from the... "How did I get to this point" reflections, to "How do I get from/beyond this point" actions. =o)
I will say that I had some great friends step up. Mentally, financially... encouraging, motivating, supporting, loving... you name it. The circle was small, but big in strength, determination & direction. I lost a few close friends in '08 (and the end of '07). And going into the start of '08, that stuff was weighing on my heart. Substantially. I kept praying... talking to God about it... And finally asked him to show me if it was me or how to deal with it. Of course my ride or dyer's were like... "Screw them tricks!" But... I was looking for deeper words, I guess. And I was at a contract gig reading Joel Osteen's book, 'Become A Better You' when I stumbled across an excerpt called "the gift of good-bye." That means when somebody who is pulling you down chooses to leave, you may not realize it, but he/she just did you a great favor. Don't look back; instead keep looking forward. Get ready for the new thing God wants to do in your life. When somebody leaves your life or a relationship is over--don't get upset. Don't try to talk them into staying. Let God do the new thing. Understand that your destiny is not tied to the people who walk away from you. And as the tears were rolling down my face, I realized that that was the word I was asking God to give me in order to release the weight of those lost friendships that was weighing on my heart. And I still apply it to this day. People will treat you any ol' kind of way, if you let them. And you can never change what you tolerate. As long as you accept it & accommodate it, you're going to stay right where you are. There obviously was more to that chapter, but seeing though I wasn't trying to make this "2008 review" a book & it's already moving in that direction, I need to cut this short. =o)
I will say, however, that going to see "Sex In the City" w/ one of my girls & some of her homegirls... had me reveling in the fact about how those chicks, both on the screen & in my presence, had each other's back through the ups & downs. They fought ... but always found a way to find their way back to that friendship. I remember my girl texting me the next day to say "thanks" for hanging out with them & me responding w/ how nice it was to see her & her girls sustain their friendships after all these years and how nice it has been to watch them grow over the years in those friendships; cause I'd been there through their ups & downs. Did it make me reminisce about some of my old friendships? Of course. Especially the one that was my fault, per se, in falling by the wayside.
But what I do know is... when someone steps back, another steps up. And for those who stepped up & weathered the storm w/ me during my rough patch in '08, I'm beyond grateful. Whether it was something you deem big or small - I deem it a blessing. I gained humility & learned to be humble. =o) If you're reading this by email, or maybe even by blog, chances are you've touched my life in some way, shape or form in '08. Even if you've been or are acting like an azz, there's something I've learned from you or something I'm grateful to you for. Because if there's one thing I've learned over time, it's that friendship isn't always constant or consistent, but we are hopefully always growing consistently as individuals. I've grown enough to say "thanks" even when it might not be warranted or deserved at this point, because at some point, it was. And whether we're friends or not, I'm grateful to anyone who has added quality to my life along my journey.
You know, I woke up this morning & watched "The Pursuit of Happyness". Considering I've owned the book since before the movie came out & never read the joint and bought the movie for Christmas & still haven't opened it, it was PAST time to see the movie. What a message. But you know... the part that hit me was this man's unwavering determination. I listened to him say... that when he was young & he'd get an 'A' on a history test or whatever, he'd get this good feeling about all the things he could be... and then never become any of them. Sadly... I fit that bill, at times. You can always relate to a message, when you see yourself in it.
When Will (Chris) got the job at the end of the movie, I was in tears before he was. All because someone saw his determination and believed in him enough to give him an opportunity. As I wrap this up, let me just say that God never performs His greatest feats in your yesterdays. So obviously this means things are looking up for me. =o) You can't have great victories without having difficult battles. You'll never have a great testimony without going through a few tests. I've got a few things up my sleeve for '09 & I'm excited about it. While watching Oprah a couple of days ago, she had people take the 'Happiness Test'. It's a series of (5) questions in which you could score a 1 - 7. 7 being the highest on each question. I'm not going to tell you what I got, but I guessed two of the three people on stage that scored a 34 or higher on their happiness test. And after listening to the last guy speak, the oldest-who was also a funeral home director, and two of the others, I realized that I'm going to stop letting circumstances determine my happiness factor. The man said something that anyone could carry with them in life, when asked about his level of happiness. He said (not exactly verbatim), people equate happiness to success or success to money, when what it's really about is significance. I was nodding my head in agreement. Have you ever had someone make you feel insignificant? Or given up on you? Wowzers. That mess can sting. But when someone has made you feel like you're significant or has made a significant difference in adding something to your life, it's a helluva feeling. And I've learned that people won't always remember what you say... but they will always remember how you made them feel. Some of you have made a bigger difference in my life than you could ever imagine. All because you supported me, believed in me enough to grant me an opportunity, or never stopped believing in me to begin with. Trust, I appreciate it.
As I finally wrap this up (I'm sure some of you are saying... FINALLY!) lol... Let me include the fact that there were definitely some ups in 2008. =o) I was a delegate for Obama on the House District, County & State level (yes, THREE times!)... and he WON! Got a new gig--complete w/ a fabulous boss, rekindled some old friendships, caught up w/ blogging buddies on my business trips to Cali & vacationing in NC, I stopped trying to con myself into liking someone who was annoying on many levels, couldn't go to the movies right AND also wore sugah short running shorts to run in (sorry I couldn't resist throwing that one in there) - just because he was a "nice" guy. *smh* I know I just finished talking about "significance" but... ALL of those things were a SIGNIFICANT distraction... and you really haven't heard the 1/2 of it. Checked out Charlotte, NC to see if I want to move there; I love it! Got flown to Cali and Vegas by friends, my favorite co-worker (and friend) had her baby prematurely, but healthy, became a god-mother to (2) of my cousins, road-tripped it w/ my favorite person--my mom, my nephew got out of the terrible twos & turned 3, no deaths in my immediate family, got to see my favorite uncle for the first time in some years, I lasted an entire football season w/out competing in fantasy football (wowzers! that's BIG!), started blogging again, listened to, watched & learned from successful people, and discovered the fabulousness that is El Torito in Cali. lol... Just to name a few.
Anyhoo... I've never done a year in review this in depth that I even felt like sharing; if I've even done one at all. And if you've made it this far in the read, you really are a trooper. =o) I just started writing and... more so for a blog than an email; yet somehow it feels a lil' like a testimony. lol...
Regardless... Infinite blessings are wished to each of you in this new year. And remember, if you have the right attitude, you will give birth to more in the future than you've lost in the past. Here's to 2009 and a new set of goals & accomplishments!
Be Blessed,
~BK
My 2008 in Review....
Wow... what a year it's been. I haven't had this rough a year in all of my existence. But the one thing I'm grateful for... is after being knocked down, torn down & even beat down with fear, doubt & emotions... I was/am STILL able to get up, shake the dust off, LEARN from it & keep moving forward. Is it easy? Not always. But that's one of the lesson's I've learned. It's okay to get down, yes. But it's NOT okay to stay there.
My year started out w/ me unemployed. And not just unemployed, but unemployed for the 1st 4 1/2 months, carried over from the last month of 2007. If you would have ever asked me if I saw that coming, I would have wholeheartedly shot you down. Out of work for 5 1/2 months? Never. Yet... there I was. Strugglin'. And in ways I've never struggled before. I was on a roller coaster ride of widespread emotions. I'd talk myself up & out of my funk... and then let uncertainty & doubt carry me right back into it. I remember writing in my blog about losing when I should be winning (in the middle of the year). I wrote:
"I guess you can't always win, huh? Maybe that's what's wrong with my so called life. I'm used to always winning. But over the last few years... I've been losing like a mutha sucka. (Err... um... sort of.) Losing friends (well, two. One of which I can truly say I don't miss as SHE'S the one who LOST her mind)... losing jobs (laid off twice)... NOT getting the jobs I'm USED to getting and thus questioning (or losing) my fiyah... losing weight, then gaining; then losing again... sometimes just due to stress. Losing money (pay cuts are a b!tch). Losing contracts. Losing my creative process. Losing my MIND. Losing w/ men. (Feel free to stop me at anytime =o)...) But... I guess them jokers are losing out on me, right? Losing the fight at keeping my winning swagger in tact (at times) or the up & down's of the taste of starting to win a little bit... only to get knocked back down to the feeling of "I can't win for losing," again. *sigh* I'm losing my patience."
Wow. Self reflection will fuel your fire to keep going, no? =o) But, I can't tell you how many "How did I get here" moments... and "Come to Jesus meetings" of self reflection I had w/ myself during the year. *sigh*
Ended up with a serious case of the flu. And as a matter of fact, thought I was going to die. I have NEVER been that sick in my life. Couple that w/ the fact that I was unemployed & uninsured, it took the meaning of a double edged sword to a whole different level. Imagine that... me, uninsured. Yeah, well... I couldn't. Didn't want to go to the ER, either. All because I couldn't fathom racking up a massive bill for a trip to that joint. But... I couldn't breathe. My choices were die or live. Or at least, so I thought. I obviously chose the latter. Imagine my pride coming full circle when the nurse came in to see me & asked, "What type of insurance I had?" *smh* Geeze... I had to muster up the strength to say, "None." And my surprise when she responded to me with, "That's okay." They're running tests & hooking me up to a breathing machine. The lady comes back & says they're going to be doing (3) chest x-rays. I kid you not, when I tell you that the first thing that was going through my head was to ask her... "Um, how much for a chest x-ray? And did I really need (3) as opposed to (1)?" But they needed to make sure the flu hadn't turned into Pneumonia. In the end, I can't even begin to express the level of my gratefulness on how much my bill was. Or the fact that I ended up being okay. But once again, God was blessing me in the midst of my storm.
That wouldn't be my only trip to the ER in 08. Ended back in the ER in August for a rash on my foot. Something so minute turned into something huge, as I apparently was having an allergic reaction to the fungus in the rash - which brought on more things to deal with. My face & eyes were swelling like crazy, the reaction I developed had my hands, feet, elbows, arms & knees breaking out w/ these clusters that sent me into over-stressed mode. I ultimately was put on anti-fungal creams, anti-bacterial meds, steroid creams & benadryl. My blood pressure shot up to an extremely unsafe level - because stress was beatin' me up like I stole something... And I didn't even know it.
I took a contract gig, only to get let go due to "budget cuts" (clearly the economy wasn't getting better) and the 2nd one, just to have an income coming in while I figured out my next move. It was time to bat down & switch up from the... "How did I get to this point" reflections, to "How do I get from/beyond this point" actions. =o)
I will say that I had some great friends step up. Mentally, financially... encouraging, motivating, supporting, loving... you name it. The circle was small, but big in strength, determination & direction. I lost a few close friends in '08 (and the end of '07). And going into the start of '08, that stuff was weighing on my heart. Substantially. I kept praying... talking to God about it... And finally asked him to show me if it was me or how to deal with it. Of course my ride or dyer's were like... "Screw them tricks!" But... I was looking for deeper words, I guess. And I was at a contract gig reading Joel Osteen's book, 'Become A Better You' when I stumbled across an excerpt called "the gift of good-bye." That means when somebody who is pulling you down chooses to leave, you may not realize it, but he/she just did you a great favor. Don't look back; instead keep looking forward. Get ready for the new thing God wants to do in your life. When somebody leaves your life or a relationship is over--don't get upset. Don't try to talk them into staying. Let God do the new thing. Understand that your destiny is not tied to the people who walk away from you. And as the tears were rolling down my face, I realized that that was the word I was asking God to give me in order to release the weight of those lost friendships that was weighing on my heart. And I still apply it to this day. People will treat you any ol' kind of way, if you let them. And you can never change what you tolerate. As long as you accept it & accommodate it, you're going to stay right where you are. There obviously was more to that chapter, but seeing though I wasn't trying to make this "2008 review" a book & it's already moving in that direction, I need to cut this short. =o)
I will say, however, that going to see "Sex In the City" w/ one of my girls & some of her homegirls... had me reveling in the fact about how those chicks, both on the screen & in my presence, had each other's back through the ups & downs. They fought ... but always found a way to find their way back to that friendship. I remember my girl texting me the next day to say "thanks" for hanging out with them & me responding w/ how nice it was to see her & her girls sustain their friendships after all these years and how nice it has been to watch them grow over the years in those friendships; cause I'd been there through their ups & downs. Did it make me reminisce about some of my old friendships? Of course. Especially the one that was my fault, per se, in falling by the wayside.
But what I do know is... when someone steps back, another steps up. And for those who stepped up & weathered the storm w/ me during my rough patch in '08, I'm beyond grateful. Whether it was something you deem big or small - I deem it a blessing. I gained humility & learned to be humble. =o) If you're reading this by email, or maybe even by blog, chances are you've touched my life in some way, shape or form in '08. Even if you've been or are acting like an azz, there's something I've learned from you or something I'm grateful to you for. Because if there's one thing I've learned over time, it's that friendship isn't always constant or consistent, but we are hopefully always growing consistently as individuals. I've grown enough to say "thanks" even when it might not be warranted or deserved at this point, because at some point, it was. And whether we're friends or not, I'm grateful to anyone who has added quality to my life along my journey.
You know, I woke up this morning & watched "The Pursuit of Happyness". Considering I've owned the book since before the movie came out & never read the joint and bought the movie for Christmas & still haven't opened it, it was PAST time to see the movie. What a message. But you know... the part that hit me was this man's unwavering determination. I listened to him say... that when he was young & he'd get an 'A' on a history test or whatever, he'd get this good feeling about all the things he could be... and then never become any of them. Sadly... I fit that bill, at times. You can always relate to a message, when you see yourself in it.
When Will (Chris) got the job at the end of the movie, I was in tears before he was. All because someone saw his determination and believed in him enough to give him an opportunity. As I wrap this up, let me just say that God never performs His greatest feats in your yesterdays. So obviously this means things are looking up for me. =o) You can't have great victories without having difficult battles. You'll never have a great testimony without going through a few tests. I've got a few things up my sleeve for '09 & I'm excited about it. While watching Oprah a couple of days ago, she had people take the 'Happiness Test'. It's a series of (5) questions in which you could score a 1 - 7. 7 being the highest on each question. I'm not going to tell you what I got, but I guessed two of the three people on stage that scored a 34 or higher on their happiness test. And after listening to the last guy speak, the oldest-who was also a funeral home director, and two of the others, I realized that I'm going to stop letting circumstances determine my happiness factor. The man said something that anyone could carry with them in life, when asked about his level of happiness. He said (not exactly verbatim), people equate happiness to success or success to money, when what it's really about is significance. I was nodding my head in agreement. Have you ever had someone make you feel insignificant? Or given up on you? Wowzers. That mess can sting. But when someone has made you feel like you're significant or has made a significant difference in adding something to your life, it's a helluva feeling. And I've learned that people won't always remember what you say... but they will always remember how you made them feel. Some of you have made a bigger difference in my life than you could ever imagine. All because you supported me, believed in me enough to grant me an opportunity, or never stopped believing in me to begin with. Trust, I appreciate it.
As I finally wrap this up (I'm sure some of you are saying... FINALLY!) lol... Let me include the fact that there were definitely some ups in 2008. =o) I was a delegate for Obama on the House District, County & State level (yes, THREE times!)... and he WON! Got a new gig--complete w/ a fabulous boss, rekindled some old friendships, caught up w/ blogging buddies on my business trips to Cali & vacationing in NC, I stopped trying to con myself into liking someone who was annoying on many levels, couldn't go to the movies right AND also wore sugah short running shorts to run in (sorry I couldn't resist throwing that one in there) - just because he was a "nice" guy. *smh* I know I just finished talking about "significance" but... ALL of those things were a SIGNIFICANT distraction... and you really haven't heard the 1/2 of it. Checked out Charlotte, NC to see if I want to move there; I love it! Got flown to Cali and Vegas by friends, my favorite co-worker (and friend) had her baby prematurely, but healthy, became a god-mother to (2) of my cousins, road-tripped it w/ my favorite person--my mom, my nephew got out of the terrible twos & turned 3, no deaths in my immediate family, got to see my favorite uncle for the first time in some years, I lasted an entire football season w/out competing in fantasy football (wowzers! that's BIG!), started blogging again, listened to, watched & learned from successful people, and discovered the fabulousness that is El Torito in Cali. lol... Just to name a few.
Anyhoo... I've never done a year in review this in depth that I even felt like sharing; if I've even done one at all. And if you've made it this far in the read, you really are a trooper. =o) I just started writing and... more so for a blog than an email; yet somehow it feels a lil' like a testimony. lol...
Regardless... Infinite blessings are wished to each of you in this new year. And remember, if you have the right attitude, you will give birth to more in the future than you've lost in the past. Here's to 2009 and a new set of goals & accomplishments!
Be Blessed,
~BK
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Conversation Piece...
So... I was having a conversation last week.
It started:
Me: So... has homeboy been by to see you, yet?
Her: Nope.
Me: *smh*
Her: But that's okay... I'm not going to let him bring me down.
Me: That's good. (although I know her well enough to not fall for this line, especially behind THIS negro)
Her: He's been hanging out w/ "Pete". (not his real name)
Me: Who's Pete?
Her: "LeAnn's" husband. (not her real name)
Me: Oh. What do you think of him?
Her: He's alright, I guess. They (LeAnn & her new hubby) fight a lot.
Me: Word?
Her: Yeah. She just met him for the first time on a co-habitant level when he got out of jail?
Me: *I perk up and say...* WHAT?!
Her: Yeah. She met & married him while he was in jail. He's her friend's brother & she introduced them to each other while he was in jail.
Me: I gotta hang up... I've REALLY got to hang up this phone. Are you effin' kiddin' me?
Her: Nope. He got out of jail a few weeks ago & moved in w/ her. Her mother doesn't even know all of this.
Me: Wow! I have NO words.
Me: So... she moved into those apartments on "blank" street?
Her: No. She now has a house. It's a section-8 house. She just got it.
Me: Huh? How do you have a decent job & still qualify for section-8?
Her: I don't know. She said she's been on section-8 for (7) years now.
Me: *smh* I'm SOOOO lost right now w/ the foolywang-ness of this story.
Surprisingly, I went to school with this chick. Couldn't tell her she wasn't the *ish in high school. She used to think that she was better than me because she was light skinned. *blank stare* We were the only two blacks on the cheerleading squad. I was captain & she only made the squad because we selected her after someone else had to quit because her parent's were moving to AZ.
Anyhoo... I was dumbfounded at the whole conversation. My parents were like... WHAT?! - when I told them the story, too. My dad, not as much as my mother & I. He was just like... that's what low self esteem will do to a person. When you get in the thinking that somehow... you don't deserve better. My first question to self was: How do you just bring some random man around your kids like that? Not my problem, I guess. But the *ish still baffels me. Plus... (7) years on section-8? I'm not opposed to folks getting assistance, but isn't the purpose just to help you get on your feet? Since when do you make it a lifetime option?
My niece & her daughter are on the same cheerleading squad. So when I ran into her earlier this year, she said to me... "You know I'm married now, right?" Me, um... no. Her... "Yeah. I married me a criminal!" I said, "come again?" She repeated, "Yeah. I married me a criminal." I had no response. Cause in my head I'm thinking... "I wouldn't share that piece of information w/ ANYBODY, willingly. You'd have to come up on that piece of information some other way, if that was the road I took." *sigh* She's not my girl like that, but I do have to wonder, how do you NOT want better for yourself?
Another conversation on Friday night:
(a different person) - based upon a convo she had w/ her ex...
Her: He told me, "I don't know who told you that you weren't worth anything, but that *ish was fukked up!"
Me: Huh?
Her: Because I have low self esteem.
Me: Girl... you do NOT have low self esteem.
Her: Oh but I do.
Me: I don't see it. Low self esteem will get your azz run over by someone. You, don't have low self esteem. Cause you won't let that happen. Maybe 10 years ago... but now... negative. I think you let people intimidate you at times when you allow people to make you feel less than in the business sense. But a man... nope.
Her: I guess you're right. But sometimes I say things to "blank" just to try to make him feel bad when he's hurt my feelings... but it doesn't work.
Me: And you've been doing this for how long? How many years?
Her: Oh... say, 15 years.
Me: And it's worked how many times?
Her: None.
Me: You know, crazy is: doing the same thing over & over again, expecting to get a different result. (she actually finished that sentence w/ me - simultaneously)
Her: He said he couldn't have married me, because my lack of confidence would have driven me crazy. Hence the reason he said, "I don't know who told you you weren't worth anything, but that *ish was fukked up."
Me: No man wants an insecure azz female. That *ish is not a becoming trait. People are naturally attracted to people who exude confidence. I can tell you for a fact that I can't kick it w/ any insecure azz man. That *ish is NOT going down. It's not even attractive.
Her: I know. That's what he said, too.
Me: But let me just share with you all the reasons I think you're beyond the bomb & phenomenal... (I shared my list of things w/ her & why she's such a blessing to me...)
Her: Thank you. You are always soooo sweet.
Me: Uh... that's just the truth. That's why I'm here... to uplift.
Next convo...
out at dinner with one of my old friends:
Me: So... tell me about this new guy. Where'd you meet him?
Her: Um... you're gonna laugh when I tell you.
Me: *serious look* Okay... where'd you meet him.
Her: Well... I had joined this site a while back.
Me: Site? Which one?
Her: Okay... Okay. Don't laugh.
Me: wth? What? Meetamillionaire.com or something?
Her: *%!@$^#(&).com
Me: *with a wtf look on my face - which then turned into a massive smile because I was trying to keep from laughing*
Her: Yeah... originally I had met a guy on there who was a fraud. He lied about his age, how much he made, and some other *ish. So I had shut my page down. But then a couple of months later I opened it back up & was getting madd attention on that piece.
Me: So are you telling me that these men, knowingly, are on this site tryin' to spend up madd loot on females who they know want them to spend their loot on them to be interested?
Her: Yep.
Me: Wow...
(Now don't even ask. I have NO CLUE as to why homegirl was/is even on the site. But I DO know that the dude she's been kickin' w/ for the last 3 months flies her out there at least twice a month. But I also know he's not as balleristic as he's trying to appear. Sorry... I just don't understand her or him on this one.)
Well... that's about it on the blog. Gotta get up at 5 am to hit the gym & sauna before work, so... I'm headed to bed. I shall return w/ something of substance later.
It started:
Me: So... has homeboy been by to see you, yet?
Her: Nope.
Me: *smh*
Her: But that's okay... I'm not going to let him bring me down.
Me: That's good. (although I know her well enough to not fall for this line, especially behind THIS negro)
Her: He's been hanging out w/ "Pete". (not his real name)
Me: Who's Pete?
Her: "LeAnn's" husband. (not her real name)
Me: Oh. What do you think of him?
Her: He's alright, I guess. They (LeAnn & her new hubby) fight a lot.
Me: Word?
Her: Yeah. She just met him for the first time on a co-habitant level when he got out of jail?
Me: *I perk up and say...* WHAT?!
Her: Yeah. She met & married him while he was in jail. He's her friend's brother & she introduced them to each other while he was in jail.
Me: I gotta hang up... I've REALLY got to hang up this phone. Are you effin' kiddin' me?
Her: Nope. He got out of jail a few weeks ago & moved in w/ her. Her mother doesn't even know all of this.
Me: Wow! I have NO words.
Me: So... she moved into those apartments on "blank" street?
Her: No. She now has a house. It's a section-8 house. She just got it.
Me: Huh? How do you have a decent job & still qualify for section-8?
Her: I don't know. She said she's been on section-8 for (7) years now.
Me: *smh* I'm SOOOO lost right now w/ the foolywang-ness of this story.
Surprisingly, I went to school with this chick. Couldn't tell her she wasn't the *ish in high school. She used to think that she was better than me because she was light skinned. *blank stare* We were the only two blacks on the cheerleading squad. I was captain & she only made the squad because we selected her after someone else had to quit because her parent's were moving to AZ.
Anyhoo... I was dumbfounded at the whole conversation. My parents were like... WHAT?! - when I told them the story, too. My dad, not as much as my mother & I. He was just like... that's what low self esteem will do to a person. When you get in the thinking that somehow... you don't deserve better. My first question to self was: How do you just bring some random man around your kids like that? Not my problem, I guess. But the *ish still baffels me. Plus... (7) years on section-8? I'm not opposed to folks getting assistance, but isn't the purpose just to help you get on your feet? Since when do you make it a lifetime option?
My niece & her daughter are on the same cheerleading squad. So when I ran into her earlier this year, she said to me... "You know I'm married now, right?" Me, um... no. Her... "Yeah. I married me a criminal!" I said, "come again?" She repeated, "Yeah. I married me a criminal." I had no response. Cause in my head I'm thinking... "I wouldn't share that piece of information w/ ANYBODY, willingly. You'd have to come up on that piece of information some other way, if that was the road I took." *sigh* She's not my girl like that, but I do have to wonder, how do you NOT want better for yourself?
Another conversation on Friday night:
(a different person) - based upon a convo she had w/ her ex...
Her: He told me, "I don't know who told you that you weren't worth anything, but that *ish was fukked up!"
Me: Huh?
Her: Because I have low self esteem.
Me: Girl... you do NOT have low self esteem.
Her: Oh but I do.
Me: I don't see it. Low self esteem will get your azz run over by someone. You, don't have low self esteem. Cause you won't let that happen. Maybe 10 years ago... but now... negative. I think you let people intimidate you at times when you allow people to make you feel less than in the business sense. But a man... nope.
Her: I guess you're right. But sometimes I say things to "blank" just to try to make him feel bad when he's hurt my feelings... but it doesn't work.
Me: And you've been doing this for how long? How many years?
Her: Oh... say, 15 years.
Me: And it's worked how many times?
Her: None.
Me: You know, crazy is: doing the same thing over & over again, expecting to get a different result. (she actually finished that sentence w/ me - simultaneously)
Her: He said he couldn't have married me, because my lack of confidence would have driven me crazy. Hence the reason he said, "I don't know who told you you weren't worth anything, but that *ish was fukked up."
Me: No man wants an insecure azz female. That *ish is not a becoming trait. People are naturally attracted to people who exude confidence. I can tell you for a fact that I can't kick it w/ any insecure azz man. That *ish is NOT going down. It's not even attractive.
Her: I know. That's what he said, too.
Me: But let me just share with you all the reasons I think you're beyond the bomb & phenomenal... (I shared my list of things w/ her & why she's such a blessing to me...)
Her: Thank you. You are always soooo sweet.
Me: Uh... that's just the truth. That's why I'm here... to uplift.
Next convo...
out at dinner with one of my old friends:
Me: So... tell me about this new guy. Where'd you meet him?
Her: Um... you're gonna laugh when I tell you.
Me: *serious look* Okay... where'd you meet him.
Her: Well... I had joined this site a while back.
Me: Site? Which one?
Her: Okay... Okay. Don't laugh.
Me: wth? What? Meetamillionaire.com or something?
Her: *%!@$^#(&).com
Me: *with a wtf look on my face - which then turned into a massive smile because I was trying to keep from laughing*
Her: Yeah... originally I had met a guy on there who was a fraud. He lied about his age, how much he made, and some other *ish. So I had shut my page down. But then a couple of months later I opened it back up & was getting madd attention on that piece.
Me: So are you telling me that these men, knowingly, are on this site tryin' to spend up madd loot on females who they know want them to spend their loot on them to be interested?
Her: Yep.
Me: Wow...
(Now don't even ask. I have NO CLUE as to why homegirl was/is even on the site. But I DO know that the dude she's been kickin' w/ for the last 3 months flies her out there at least twice a month. But I also know he's not as balleristic as he's trying to appear. Sorry... I just don't understand her or him on this one.)
Well... that's about it on the blog. Gotta get up at 5 am to hit the gym & sauna before work, so... I'm headed to bed. I shall return w/ something of substance later.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Quick One...
Hey, hey, hey....
It's been a minute, I know. Aki reminds me often.
It's cool though... cause I return the favor. Even when I have no grounds to talk. lol...
In my defense, I started a blog on 10/26. It's actually a decent length.
... but I guess in the big scheme of things, it really doesn't matter; if I never posted it. *sigh*
But... good news! I'ma try to post THIS weekend. No promises, though.
I've been working like a run-a-way slave!
And it's not going to get any better - any sooner.
Additional work is coming... so it looks like I'll be traveling again & sooner than I thought.
I'm not against traveling but... that mess was kicking my energy level below non-existent.
And up until last week... I couldn't even take my butt to the gym to get my energy level back up.
Thankfully... I'm back in business. I've been getting cussed out left & right for not returning calls.
Sad. But honestly, I didn't even have the energy to care. *smh*
I would say to myself... I hear ya, girl/man. I know, I suck - right now. And keep on sleeping, lounging or working. Cause unless you travel like that (I was in the office all of (3) days for (4) weeks)...
you just wouldn't understand how jet lag takes it's toll on an already tired & strugglin' person.
Someone said to me last night... "You must REALLY love your job." I said... I do like what I do.
But, in this economy... I simply like HAVING a job, period. Cause your option could be unemployment.
I had a birthday. *sigh* Birthdays = wackdays, for me.
Although an Obama win made the perfect, day after, gift.
I went to Vegas to celebrate. Or rather... not so much.
Vegas = Wackness. But it was a bday present from my Nina. Not ungrateful, but that mess was wack.
Not to mention... I had NO energy! *sigh* Details on that, later.
All of my ex's called to say "Happy Bday!" The new guy I've been seeing... remembered (4) days later. *smh*
Could be another reason I'm not that into him? No?
I'm always surprised at the people who remember... & the people who forget.
(Adwoa, you get a pass cause I heart you for infinity!)
Actually... I gave a few 'get out of jail - free' passes.
Bday's, for me, are big. No other day in the year, is the expectation to 'celebrate' me.
And not so much celebrate, as acknowledge me.
But... I'm learning to lower my expectations on bdays. In fact, I'm choosing to celebrate my day on a random, out of the blue, day next year. Not even going to be in my bday month. Just a no expectation day when the likelyhood of fun w/ ensue. *smh* @ me yelling out of the blue... "It's my birthday!" - and it's not. lmao...
Black Ski Summit, maybe? Alpha will be there. =o) All-Star weekend in AZ? Perhaps...
They're both on my list.
Okay... gotta get back to work.
Oh... one last thing (or two). I'm over The Hills.
That used to be my show.
But when they tried to go w/ the rumored storyline of Justin Bobby & Lauren...
that was it, for me.
Now I'm CONVINCED the garnered up storylines rumors are true.
Cause that mess wasn't even believable.
Audrina's acting was even unbelievable. And that girl is my favortie, right now.
Decided to just stick to CSI: Miami & Horacio Cane, now.
Or Will & Grace re-runs. I do need to update my collection.
Okay... time to get to work.
Be back this weekend (at some point) to blog.
I'm working... and shopping! =o)
Keyshia Cole's new cd in stores Dec. 16th. I just listened to the preview...
I LOVE IT!
Btw... I love her show. More on that, later, too.
Later.
~BK
It's been a minute, I know. Aki reminds me often.
It's cool though... cause I return the favor. Even when I have no grounds to talk. lol...
In my defense, I started a blog on 10/26. It's actually a decent length.
... but I guess in the big scheme of things, it really doesn't matter; if I never posted it. *sigh*
But... good news! I'ma try to post THIS weekend. No promises, though.
I've been working like a run-a-way slave!
And it's not going to get any better - any sooner.
Additional work is coming... so it looks like I'll be traveling again & sooner than I thought.
I'm not against traveling but... that mess was kicking my energy level below non-existent.
And up until last week... I couldn't even take my butt to the gym to get my energy level back up.
Thankfully... I'm back in business. I've been getting cussed out left & right for not returning calls.
Sad. But honestly, I didn't even have the energy to care. *smh*
I would say to myself... I hear ya, girl/man. I know, I suck - right now. And keep on sleeping, lounging or working. Cause unless you travel like that (I was in the office all of (3) days for (4) weeks)...
you just wouldn't understand how jet lag takes it's toll on an already tired & strugglin' person.
Someone said to me last night... "You must REALLY love your job." I said... I do like what I do.
But, in this economy... I simply like HAVING a job, period. Cause your option could be unemployment.
I had a birthday. *sigh* Birthdays = wackdays, for me.
Although an Obama win made the perfect, day after, gift.
I went to Vegas to celebrate. Or rather... not so much.
Vegas = Wackness. But it was a bday present from my Nina. Not ungrateful, but that mess was wack.
Not to mention... I had NO energy! *sigh* Details on that, later.
All of my ex's called to say "Happy Bday!" The new guy I've been seeing... remembered (4) days later. *smh*
Could be another reason I'm not that into him? No?
I'm always surprised at the people who remember... & the people who forget.
(Adwoa, you get a pass cause I heart you for infinity!)
Actually... I gave a few 'get out of jail - free' passes.
Bday's, for me, are big. No other day in the year, is the expectation to 'celebrate' me.
And not so much celebrate, as acknowledge me.
But... I'm learning to lower my expectations on bdays. In fact, I'm choosing to celebrate my day on a random, out of the blue, day next year. Not even going to be in my bday month. Just a no expectation day when the likelyhood of fun w/ ensue. *smh* @ me yelling out of the blue... "It's my birthday!" - and it's not. lmao...
Black Ski Summit, maybe? Alpha will be there. =o) All-Star weekend in AZ? Perhaps...
They're both on my list.
Okay... gotta get back to work.
Oh... one last thing (or two). I'm over The Hills.
That used to be my show.
But when they tried to go w/ the rumored storyline of Justin Bobby & Lauren...
that was it, for me.
Now I'm CONVINCED the garnered up storylines rumors are true.
Cause that mess wasn't even believable.
Audrina's acting was even unbelievable. And that girl is my favortie, right now.
Decided to just stick to CSI: Miami & Horacio Cane, now.
Or Will & Grace re-runs. I do need to update my collection.
Okay... time to get to work.
Be back this weekend (at some point) to blog.
I'm working... and shopping! =o)
Keyshia Cole's new cd in stores Dec. 16th. I just listened to the preview...
I LOVE IT!
Btw... I love her show. More on that, later, too.
Later.
~BK
Monday, October 20, 2008
Untitled...
So... the last couple of weeks have been grand. =o) Last week I went to the Broncos/Jaguars game with Nina. I haven't had THAT much fun at a dayum game in a grip! It was drizzilin' the whole dang game. Grrr... Needless to say, I had sooo much fun it was ridiculous.
My brother called me that morning to let me know he had an extra ticket on the 45 yard line (9 rows up) and wanted to know if I wanted to roll. I let him know I was rollin' w/ Nina, but that we could catch up/ meet up during the game. So he & my dad went. My mom was all making sure my dad was gonna be bundled up enough to not be cold. (They're the cutest!) Anyhoo... I bounced to go meet Nina downtown somewhere, as she was gonna drive. Now granted... this is the first time in YEARS that I didn't have access to parking in the players parking lot, so the parking/walking was gonna be a beast. Grrr... We weren't paying $40 to park @ the stadium, so I told Nina that there's a huge church not that far from the stadium where they charge about $10 for parking. I told her that I didn't have any cash, though, so we might need to hit up an ATM, first. Nina thought she had enough cash on her. Not so. We pull up, Nina had about $4 (we're already now IN the lot). So I ask the lady where's the nearest ATM. She directed us about a block. But in order to turn around, we had to drive through the parking lot. So... we get far enough from the lady & Nina's like, eff it, Kat... let's just park in here. She's not gonna know. I said, Nina... it's a friggin' church parking lot! She replied, "God's not gonna mind if we park here." *smh* That girl is a mess! I talked her outta that *ish, as... I told her I'd hate for us to return to the lot after the game & the devil left us with no ride up in that joint! Funny thing, we drove across the street to this mexican restaurant & parked for FREE! Wow! You just can't beat FREE parking. Really.
We start walking to the stadium (with the rest of the 500 people) and as we're approaching the stadium, a truck rolls by w/ two negro's screaming my name out of it. I'm lookin' like... who da hell? So they're all waving... I can't see anyone but the driver, and Lord knows I didn't know his tail. So I put my hands out as if to say, who are you. Dude starts screaming out the name of my ex that used to play on the team. I was like... "oh, hey!" He's sittin' there stopped, holding up traffic like I was gonna run over there or something. Psssh, negro please! I turned it back around & kept walking. It would have been nice to talk to him & all... but, a.) it was cold outside and b.) if it was that serious, they'd have turned the car around. We kept it moving. I just didn't know the negro still lived here.
Anyhoo... we get to our seats & it friggin' started to drizzle. Grrr... probably looked like it was snowing on TV. But... screw it. I've been in the stands in my ski-suit before, so this wasn't going to hurt anyone. We copped some hot chocolates, a hot dog, some chili cheese fries *smacks lips* & commenced to having a fab time. Nina's grandparents seats are like 12 rows up, so... we had good seats. We were actin' up & havin' a ball. So much so, the cops came up to us & were like, "you ladies are having entirely too much fun!" I said, "we really are!" The man said, "I'm keeping my eye on you ladies." =o) Nina responds, "please do!" And then puts her hands up as if to get the hand-cuffs put on her later. OUT of control we were. We later met up w/ my dad & brother over in their section. 1st thing Nina says when we walked off from them... you didn't tell me your brother was foine! I said... I don't mix friends & brothers. Been there... done that. Not the biz. Plus, my bro-ham is married, anyway.
Long story short. Game was a treat. Left there and went to a steak-house downtown. Ordered like (7) different appetizers & some orange martinis that were the best martini's I've EVER had in my life. I mean... really. Nina said I was going to love them. I've got to go back for my birthday! Thus ended the night.
Anyhoo... I've met a new guy. He's actually a friend of a friend. I've known him for a while now, but he was previously in a relationship. But... as usual, I've been finding something wrong w/ him. Well... last week he took me out to a movie. Towards the beginning he kept talking to me. Not even about the movie, just in general. WTF? Then... I could feel him staring at me for like (3) minutes or so, & I finally chimed in with the, "um... are you going to watch me or the movie?" Grrr... then he kept trying to hold my hand, touch my leg, lay his head on my shoulder... and y'all I don't mind holding hands w/ someone. But 1/2 of the movie I was thinking... "Nope, can't date this guy. He's too extra AND... He doesn't even know how to go to the movies right." *smh* Plus, there are other things that were driving me a little bit batty. I talked to Nina the next morning about the *ish & her azz was ROLLIN' about my breakdown. (Nina & I have the same problem; we seem to find something wrong w/ everyone!) So... she says, "Kat, you just need to go ahead & wave your white flag right now. Cause the *ish ain't gonna happen for us!" I'm rollin'. It's funny and sad at the same time. So I met up w/ my boss @ her sons' basketball game the next morning. I'm telling her about the *ish & asking what she thinks. She was telling me how she couldn't date this one guy back in the day, because she could hear his eyelids click when he closed his eyes (rotflmbao). She said... "you can't force your feelings, girl. Nice guy or not. I know it sucks. But SquareBear ISN'T the one & I highly doubt this cat is, either." Chick was breaking it down on me. I told her, I didn't even have anything to say. She replied, cause you know I'm right! And... that, she is. Although I've still been hanging out a bit w/ the new guy. *sigh*
SquareBear, is definitely not where I'm at. The sad part was, I actually felt a lil' bad for not really feelin' ol' boy like that. I was tryin' to like him. But... it just wasn't workin'. Funny thing... well, I'll put that up on the Vixen side (Aki, that's your cue), later.
But... new guy called me, yesterday morning, to go running with him down at this big park out here. Y'all know I haven't worked out in three months, because of my foot. So... can I tell you how friggin' out of shape I am? I mean... I kept thinking, this is sad, how out of shape I am. And we did about 4-5 miles. Plus, he was all tryin' to play with me while running. (This is why I workout SOLO!) Then... he was all, don't stop. Keep walking (when I would stop running), close your mouth & breathe through your nose, finish hard... *blank stare* Negro, you DO realize that I've been running since middle school? Grrr... I simply said, dude, I don't need a running coach. He said, I know. But I'm gonna be your motivational coach. *sigh* (Motivational or irritational?) In the car he kept playin' w/ my ears & rubbing my arms and it was just bothering the heck out of me. We went to get something to eat after that... & I called it a day.
Anyhoo... I've got some other rundown on dinner last night w/ Nina & the girls. I'll blog later on. I fly out to L.A. on Tuesday - Friday so... I'll have a lot of downtime.
Later.
~BK
My brother called me that morning to let me know he had an extra ticket on the 45 yard line (9 rows up) and wanted to know if I wanted to roll. I let him know I was rollin' w/ Nina, but that we could catch up/ meet up during the game. So he & my dad went. My mom was all making sure my dad was gonna be bundled up enough to not be cold. (They're the cutest!) Anyhoo... I bounced to go meet Nina downtown somewhere, as she was gonna drive. Now granted... this is the first time in YEARS that I didn't have access to parking in the players parking lot, so the parking/walking was gonna be a beast. Grrr... We weren't paying $40 to park @ the stadium, so I told Nina that there's a huge church not that far from the stadium where they charge about $10 for parking. I told her that I didn't have any cash, though, so we might need to hit up an ATM, first. Nina thought she had enough cash on her. Not so. We pull up, Nina had about $4 (we're already now IN the lot). So I ask the lady where's the nearest ATM. She directed us about a block. But in order to turn around, we had to drive through the parking lot. So... we get far enough from the lady & Nina's like, eff it, Kat... let's just park in here. She's not gonna know. I said, Nina... it's a friggin' church parking lot! She replied, "God's not gonna mind if we park here." *smh* That girl is a mess! I talked her outta that *ish, as... I told her I'd hate for us to return to the lot after the game & the devil left us with no ride up in that joint! Funny thing, we drove across the street to this mexican restaurant & parked for FREE! Wow! You just can't beat FREE parking. Really.
We start walking to the stadium (with the rest of the 500 people) and as we're approaching the stadium, a truck rolls by w/ two negro's screaming my name out of it. I'm lookin' like... who da hell? So they're all waving... I can't see anyone but the driver, and Lord knows I didn't know his tail. So I put my hands out as if to say, who are you. Dude starts screaming out the name of my ex that used to play on the team. I was like... "oh, hey!" He's sittin' there stopped, holding up traffic like I was gonna run over there or something. Psssh, negro please! I turned it back around & kept walking. It would have been nice to talk to him & all... but, a.) it was cold outside and b.) if it was that serious, they'd have turned the car around. We kept it moving. I just didn't know the negro still lived here.
Anyhoo... we get to our seats & it friggin' started to drizzle. Grrr... probably looked like it was snowing on TV. But... screw it. I've been in the stands in my ski-suit before, so this wasn't going to hurt anyone. We copped some hot chocolates, a hot dog, some chili cheese fries *smacks lips* & commenced to having a fab time. Nina's grandparents seats are like 12 rows up, so... we had good seats. We were actin' up & havin' a ball. So much so, the cops came up to us & were like, "you ladies are having entirely too much fun!" I said, "we really are!" The man said, "I'm keeping my eye on you ladies." =o) Nina responds, "please do!" And then puts her hands up as if to get the hand-cuffs put on her later. OUT of control we were. We later met up w/ my dad & brother over in their section. 1st thing Nina says when we walked off from them... you didn't tell me your brother was foine! I said... I don't mix friends & brothers. Been there... done that. Not the biz. Plus, my bro-ham is married, anyway.
Long story short. Game was a treat. Left there and went to a steak-house downtown. Ordered like (7) different appetizers & some orange martinis that were the best martini's I've EVER had in my life. I mean... really. Nina said I was going to love them. I've got to go back for my birthday! Thus ended the night.
Anyhoo... I've met a new guy. He's actually a friend of a friend. I've known him for a while now, but he was previously in a relationship. But... as usual, I've been finding something wrong w/ him. Well... last week he took me out to a movie. Towards the beginning he kept talking to me. Not even about the movie, just in general. WTF? Then... I could feel him staring at me for like (3) minutes or so, & I finally chimed in with the, "um... are you going to watch me or the movie?" Grrr... then he kept trying to hold my hand, touch my leg, lay his head on my shoulder... and y'all I don't mind holding hands w/ someone. But 1/2 of the movie I was thinking... "Nope, can't date this guy. He's too extra AND... He doesn't even know how to go to the movies right." *smh* Plus, there are other things that were driving me a little bit batty. I talked to Nina the next morning about the *ish & her azz was ROLLIN' about my breakdown. (Nina & I have the same problem; we seem to find something wrong w/ everyone!) So... she says, "Kat, you just need to go ahead & wave your white flag right now. Cause the *ish ain't gonna happen for us!" I'm rollin'. It's funny and sad at the same time. So I met up w/ my boss @ her sons' basketball game the next morning. I'm telling her about the *ish & asking what she thinks. She was telling me how she couldn't date this one guy back in the day, because she could hear his eyelids click when he closed his eyes (rotflmbao). She said... "you can't force your feelings, girl. Nice guy or not. I know it sucks. But SquareBear ISN'T the one & I highly doubt this cat is, either." Chick was breaking it down on me. I told her, I didn't even have anything to say. She replied, cause you know I'm right! And... that, she is. Although I've still been hanging out a bit w/ the new guy. *sigh*
SquareBear, is definitely not where I'm at. The sad part was, I actually felt a lil' bad for not really feelin' ol' boy like that. I was tryin' to like him. But... it just wasn't workin'. Funny thing... well, I'll put that up on the Vixen side (Aki, that's your cue), later.
But... new guy called me, yesterday morning, to go running with him down at this big park out here. Y'all know I haven't worked out in three months, because of my foot. So... can I tell you how friggin' out of shape I am? I mean... I kept thinking, this is sad, how out of shape I am. And we did about 4-5 miles. Plus, he was all tryin' to play with me while running. (This is why I workout SOLO!) Then... he was all, don't stop. Keep walking (when I would stop running), close your mouth & breathe through your nose, finish hard... *blank stare* Negro, you DO realize that I've been running since middle school? Grrr... I simply said, dude, I don't need a running coach. He said, I know. But I'm gonna be your motivational coach. *sigh* (Motivational or irritational?) In the car he kept playin' w/ my ears & rubbing my arms and it was just bothering the heck out of me. We went to get something to eat after that... & I called it a day.
Anyhoo... I've got some other rundown on dinner last night w/ Nina & the girls. I'll blog later on. I fly out to L.A. on Tuesday - Friday so... I'll have a lot of downtime.
Later.
~BK
Saturday, October 4, 2008
The RunDown...
Guten Abend, Buenas Noches and What it is, Good People?! It's been a hot minute, yes, I know. But... hey, it's like that sometimes. =o)
Cali trip was great! SquareBear was a treat. He had a "bitchassness" moment though, one of those nights & I plum thought I was gonna sock him in his grill. Negro was tryin' to argue w/ me about Denver being worse than Compton. *blank stare* Yeah... it was trivial AND assanine. But it escalated to some foolywang levels (on his part). I'm not gonna break down that moment, but his azz knows he was cuttin' the fool. Crazy azz. But... minus that moment, the trip was nice.
I flew out on Southwest Airlines, which was a first for me. I knew they boarded in sections, so I checked in online the night before. I don't know if I necessarily feel that whole type of boarding, but... hey, not having to pay for bag check in & *ish, works perfectly fine for me. Cause Lord knows, I have yet to figure out how to pack lightly for a 3-day trip! So... anyhoo, I was in the 1st bunch of folks, so I got my isle seat quickly. Some other female came & got the window seat and I was just waiting for someone to come & get that middle seat, which are all that's left once people pick their seats. I promise you, the last chick to get on the plane, walked all the way back to our row, so we were like "grrrr..." that she was gonna sit there. But, she just couldn't make herself do it & walked all the way back up to the front of the plane to find a seat. I turned to homegirl (who happened to be white) & said... this is one of those moments where it pays to be black in america. *smh* She was like, "Awww... " *smh* but y'all know I was chucklin' to myself something serious. I probably shouldn't have said it, but... I couldn't resist. So... my motto is, "If you're black, fly Southwest! You might get a row to yourself!" Just kidding (not really).
Anyhoo... flight was nice. SquareBear was waiting for me when I came OFF the escalator. He was like... "I was soooo nervous & anxious, for some reason." I was like... "Awww... why?" He was like, "I don't know. I just was like... self, wth?! Ease up!" *smh* (Too cute). He admitted a while back that I intimidate him so... I know that had something to do with it. Never the less, we got my bags & headed to catch the shuttle back to the hotel... as he took the shuttle instead of driving. We threw the bags down & went to go get some dinner. I will say that he had plans for us to go out that night. But me & sleep had other plans. *smh* We both layed it down for a minute, cause he was tired too. But then I think he said he was gonna run somewhere (I can't remember), but I was like... cool. Just let me sleep for like an hour & a half. Um... clearly (3) hours later, when he tapped me on my shoulder to gently wake me up & said, "I'm assuming you're not going anywhere, lol..." I was like, "oh snap! I'm sooo sorry. I'm just beat! But I'll get up." And he was like, "No... you go ahead & sleep. We can just chill here @ the spot. I want you to relax this weekend, so you just sleep as long as you want." *big smile* Which would have technically ended the night, but... I caught a friggin' charlie horse (cramp) in my right leg... which then moved to my foot, which then my left leg caught the cramp & I was basically almost in tears from that *ish. He's runnin' around like crazy trying to throw hot towels in the sink to put on my legs... running down to the jacuzzi to see if it was empty so we could get in there & let the hot water soothe out the cramps, to back to the room to run some steaming hot bath water for me to soak my legs in. Grrrr.... I used to get them after one of my track meets or after working out. I haven't had one in a hot minute, so... leave it to that weekend for me to get them. I ended up scarfing down a gang of mustard to get that *ish to stop. Don't ask me what mustard does. I just know my Mom sleeps w/ mustard by her bed for when she catches the cramp during the night. Prior to the Cali trip, I was laughing at the mustard bit. But *ish... after scarfing down a gang of grey poupon (my favorite; thankfully I love mustard)... that cramping stopped. Yeah, welcome to Cali, huh? lol.
Day 2, we went & had breakfast at the hotel. Wasn't really feelin' it & left to go eat elsewhere. Hung out a bit during the day and decided to chill & watch some football until later. We were going to a comedy show & Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles. The comedy show was nice. There were like 10 comedians. There was a middle eastern guy who was up there talking about how after 9-11 there are a few things that could never again be. Like, how there will never again be a middle eastern pilot. He was acting like he was a pilot talking over the intercom & *ish and was like, "Good Everyone & welcome to United flight 695, with service to Houston. I am your pilot, Hamid Abdul Muhammad & will be in charge of this flight, along w/ our co-pilot, John Sampson. This will be my last flight, as I'll be retiring, however I hope to make it a memorable one. Should you need anything, please feel free to notify our in-flight crew. The estimated flight time is 2 hrs. & 36 minutes. We're looking at clear skies, a smooth ride & an on time arrival. Welcome aboard." And then started singing this middle eastern song & *ish. Sadly, I was nodding my head in agreement, that I'd have had to hop off that dayum flight. But I was rollin'. Then some other cat got up there & was talkin' about folks sayin' hip hop is dead. He said, hip hop isn't dead. It's alive & kickin'. But what's dead is TV! He was talkin' about Flavor of Love & I was screaming. It's waited too long to blog to remember all of those jokes, but the first thing he said was... "How do you go on a television show & compete for a prize and there's NO PRIZE!?" (As in Flava Flav not being a prize for anyone). And although I'm cool w/ Mercedes (aka Prancer), I just had to nod my head in agreement w/ this comedian. I was literally screaming at 1/2 the *ish he was saying, cause his azz was THAT funny! A chick in the audience was went to throw her head back from laughing so hard, her hair landed in the candle on the table behind her & well... homegirls head was on fire! I could smell something burning, as she was only a table away, but couldn't figure out what was burning. Too bad the host of the show was standing in the back of our section & saw that *ish , so you KNOW he came up & made an announcement and was crackin' jokes & *ish. I know she was mad about that. She came in with a half down her back weave & left with a shoulder length one. *smh* Good times, though. After dinner & the show, he asked if I wanted to hit the club or a movie. I chose the later, as the club scene isn't really my thing, these days. But, as this was the Denver/Compton fight night, we never made it. *smh*
Day 3, we hung out early in the day, I packed & we went to see my girlfriend Nabs. It was such a treat to see her. She's such a cutie patootie. We left there & went to try to find this sushi spot that's supposed to be the bomb, but we couldn't. So... to the airport it was, as... it was time for me to leave. Sealed that trip w/ a kiss and thus ended the Cali trip. (I may place a pic of him up on the Vixen side).
But... in more important news. I've got a new gig! FINALLY!! Not that I haven't been working, cause I have. But y'all know, I had been doing the contract thing for a minute now. And although there are some benefits to working contract, I was OVER that *ish. So... I decided to get focused and bat down. Went on three interviews. Two full-time, one part-time. And basically got all (3) gigs. I say basically, because I already accepted an offer on one (and the PT gig offer, I accepted, as well) & I'm just waiting to hear what the offer is from the 2nd FT one. Both are in my field and both are great opportunities. However, I seriously doubt I'll be swaying from where I'm at, now. Although my new boss knows that the 2nd one is still in the offering process. But y'all, I'm just grateful for the blessings God is pouring out on me. I knew it was coming, because He had placed a calmness over me that I hadn't experienced in over a year. And... I'm just geeked. Cause this market/ economy is NOTHING to play with. But in spite of it all, I ended up with some GREAT opportunities. My laptop was ordered & should be here next week (my laptop bag already arrived), I'll be traveling back & forth to Los Angeles, San Diego & AZ in two weeks (for four weeks), my blackberry was ordered (it's weird, tho, as we only get our blackberry's when we travel) & my business cards will be ordered shortly. My boss is hella fabulous, which I'd take a fabulous boss over any other perk ANYDAY! And I have NO complaints. So for those of you who endured the up & down roller coaster ride of emotions with me, THANK YOU!
I also ended up having to go back to the doctor for the foot rash. Grrrr... My face started swelling again this week so... to the doctor I went. I switched PCP's (Primary Care Physician) and she referred me to a dermatologist (finally got what I needed to begin with). I saw the dermatologist yesterday (she's friggin' adorable) & she says I have some sort of eczema. *relief* She scraped my foot to check for fungus. Didn't find any. But the anti-fungal cream (prescription strength) would have healed that. So... she put me on a strong azz steroid cream & I go back to see her in (3) weeks. She told me I can stop stressin' now. Which, I'm tryin to do... but as a result of me not sleeping too much last night, I know I STILL am. Grrr... But, she was just too adorable.
Anyhoo... life is great. Enjoy your day. And remember... "I can see Russia from my house!" *smdh*
~BK
Cali trip was great! SquareBear was a treat. He had a "bitchassness" moment though, one of those nights & I plum thought I was gonna sock him in his grill. Negro was tryin' to argue w/ me about Denver being worse than Compton. *blank stare* Yeah... it was trivial AND assanine. But it escalated to some foolywang levels (on his part). I'm not gonna break down that moment, but his azz knows he was cuttin' the fool. Crazy azz. But... minus that moment, the trip was nice.
I flew out on Southwest Airlines, which was a first for me. I knew they boarded in sections, so I checked in online the night before. I don't know if I necessarily feel that whole type of boarding, but... hey, not having to pay for bag check in & *ish, works perfectly fine for me. Cause Lord knows, I have yet to figure out how to pack lightly for a 3-day trip! So... anyhoo, I was in the 1st bunch of folks, so I got my isle seat quickly. Some other female came & got the window seat and I was just waiting for someone to come & get that middle seat, which are all that's left once people pick their seats. I promise you, the last chick to get on the plane, walked all the way back to our row, so we were like "grrrr..." that she was gonna sit there. But, she just couldn't make herself do it & walked all the way back up to the front of the plane to find a seat. I turned to homegirl (who happened to be white) & said... this is one of those moments where it pays to be black in america. *smh* She was like, "Awww... " *smh* but y'all know I was chucklin' to myself something serious. I probably shouldn't have said it, but... I couldn't resist. So... my motto is, "If you're black, fly Southwest! You might get a row to yourself!" Just kidding (not really).
Anyhoo... flight was nice. SquareBear was waiting for me when I came OFF the escalator. He was like... "I was soooo nervous & anxious, for some reason." I was like... "Awww... why?" He was like, "I don't know. I just was like... self, wth?! Ease up!" *smh* (Too cute). He admitted a while back that I intimidate him so... I know that had something to do with it. Never the less, we got my bags & headed to catch the shuttle back to the hotel... as he took the shuttle instead of driving. We threw the bags down & went to go get some dinner. I will say that he had plans for us to go out that night. But me & sleep had other plans. *smh* We both layed it down for a minute, cause he was tired too. But then I think he said he was gonna run somewhere (I can't remember), but I was like... cool. Just let me sleep for like an hour & a half. Um... clearly (3) hours later, when he tapped me on my shoulder to gently wake me up & said, "I'm assuming you're not going anywhere, lol..." I was like, "oh snap! I'm sooo sorry. I'm just beat! But I'll get up." And he was like, "No... you go ahead & sleep. We can just chill here @ the spot. I want you to relax this weekend, so you just sleep as long as you want." *big smile* Which would have technically ended the night, but... I caught a friggin' charlie horse (cramp) in my right leg... which then moved to my foot, which then my left leg caught the cramp & I was basically almost in tears from that *ish. He's runnin' around like crazy trying to throw hot towels in the sink to put on my legs... running down to the jacuzzi to see if it was empty so we could get in there & let the hot water soothe out the cramps, to back to the room to run some steaming hot bath water for me to soak my legs in. Grrrr.... I used to get them after one of my track meets or after working out. I haven't had one in a hot minute, so... leave it to that weekend for me to get them. I ended up scarfing down a gang of mustard to get that *ish to stop. Don't ask me what mustard does. I just know my Mom sleeps w/ mustard by her bed for when she catches the cramp during the night. Prior to the Cali trip, I was laughing at the mustard bit. But *ish... after scarfing down a gang of grey poupon (my favorite; thankfully I love mustard)... that cramping stopped. Yeah, welcome to Cali, huh? lol.
Day 2, we went & had breakfast at the hotel. Wasn't really feelin' it & left to go eat elsewhere. Hung out a bit during the day and decided to chill & watch some football until later. We were going to a comedy show & Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles. The comedy show was nice. There were like 10 comedians. There was a middle eastern guy who was up there talking about how after 9-11 there are a few things that could never again be. Like, how there will never again be a middle eastern pilot. He was acting like he was a pilot talking over the intercom & *ish and was like, "Good Everyone & welcome to United flight 695, with service to Houston. I am your pilot, Hamid Abdul Muhammad & will be in charge of this flight, along w/ our co-pilot, John Sampson. This will be my last flight, as I'll be retiring, however I hope to make it a memorable one. Should you need anything, please feel free to notify our in-flight crew. The estimated flight time is 2 hrs. & 36 minutes. We're looking at clear skies, a smooth ride & an on time arrival. Welcome aboard." And then started singing this middle eastern song & *ish. Sadly, I was nodding my head in agreement, that I'd have had to hop off that dayum flight. But I was rollin'. Then some other cat got up there & was talkin' about folks sayin' hip hop is dead. He said, hip hop isn't dead. It's alive & kickin'. But what's dead is TV! He was talkin' about Flavor of Love & I was screaming. It's waited too long to blog to remember all of those jokes, but the first thing he said was... "How do you go on a television show & compete for a prize and there's NO PRIZE!?" (As in Flava Flav not being a prize for anyone). And although I'm cool w/ Mercedes (aka Prancer), I just had to nod my head in agreement w/ this comedian. I was literally screaming at 1/2 the *ish he was saying, cause his azz was THAT funny! A chick in the audience was went to throw her head back from laughing so hard, her hair landed in the candle on the table behind her & well... homegirls head was on fire! I could smell something burning, as she was only a table away, but couldn't figure out what was burning. Too bad the host of the show was standing in the back of our section & saw that *ish , so you KNOW he came up & made an announcement and was crackin' jokes & *ish. I know she was mad about that. She came in with a half down her back weave & left with a shoulder length one. *smh* Good times, though. After dinner & the show, he asked if I wanted to hit the club or a movie. I chose the later, as the club scene isn't really my thing, these days. But, as this was the Denver/Compton fight night, we never made it. *smh*
Day 3, we hung out early in the day, I packed & we went to see my girlfriend Nabs. It was such a treat to see her. She's such a cutie patootie. We left there & went to try to find this sushi spot that's supposed to be the bomb, but we couldn't. So... to the airport it was, as... it was time for me to leave. Sealed that trip w/ a kiss and thus ended the Cali trip. (I may place a pic of him up on the Vixen side).
But... in more important news. I've got a new gig! FINALLY!! Not that I haven't been working, cause I have. But y'all know, I had been doing the contract thing for a minute now. And although there are some benefits to working contract, I was OVER that *ish. So... I decided to get focused and bat down. Went on three interviews. Two full-time, one part-time. And basically got all (3) gigs. I say basically, because I already accepted an offer on one (and the PT gig offer, I accepted, as well) & I'm just waiting to hear what the offer is from the 2nd FT one. Both are in my field and both are great opportunities. However, I seriously doubt I'll be swaying from where I'm at, now. Although my new boss knows that the 2nd one is still in the offering process. But y'all, I'm just grateful for the blessings God is pouring out on me. I knew it was coming, because He had placed a calmness over me that I hadn't experienced in over a year. And... I'm just geeked. Cause this market/ economy is NOTHING to play with. But in spite of it all, I ended up with some GREAT opportunities. My laptop was ordered & should be here next week (my laptop bag already arrived), I'll be traveling back & forth to Los Angeles, San Diego & AZ in two weeks (for four weeks), my blackberry was ordered (it's weird, tho, as we only get our blackberry's when we travel) & my business cards will be ordered shortly. My boss is hella fabulous, which I'd take a fabulous boss over any other perk ANYDAY! And I have NO complaints. So for those of you who endured the up & down roller coaster ride of emotions with me, THANK YOU!
I also ended up having to go back to the doctor for the foot rash. Grrrr... My face started swelling again this week so... to the doctor I went. I switched PCP's (Primary Care Physician) and she referred me to a dermatologist (finally got what I needed to begin with). I saw the dermatologist yesterday (she's friggin' adorable) & she says I have some sort of eczema. *relief* She scraped my foot to check for fungus. Didn't find any. But the anti-fungal cream (prescription strength) would have healed that. So... she put me on a strong azz steroid cream & I go back to see her in (3) weeks. She told me I can stop stressin' now. Which, I'm tryin to do... but as a result of me not sleeping too much last night, I know I STILL am. Grrr... But, she was just too adorable.
Anyhoo... life is great. Enjoy your day. And remember... "I can see Russia from my house!" *smdh*
~BK
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Un-Motivated...
Well... I thought I wanted to write a new blog (finally). However... I just changed my mind (for the 5th time). Grrr... I've got lots to say, yet I am lacking the urge to actually put forth the effort. *sigh* Maybe later.
~BK
~BK
Sunday, September 21, 2008
A Good Read...
So... in this here season of foolywang politics... I am coming across some good reads. And yes, I actually read the majority of them. Especially about the unknown - ie. Palin. My Dad used to always say, "You need to pay attention to what these people are saying...," and honestly, I got why a LONG time ago. Which is why I CHOOSE to be active in this stuff. Because like it or not, these people are wanna be leaders, actual leaders, future leaders or people who have a voice (and can be heard) in a world in which I live or actively participate in. And to ensure that foolywang politicians aren't the one's leading it, I participate in the process. For even if they are, I still need to know what these people are saying in order to be pro-active in combating the process. Yeah... it's another political blog. =o) Anyhoo... came across this read today & LOVED IT so... I'm sharing. Granted, there will be a blog about the Cali trip this week, hopefully. But... it's sooo much easier to blog when you're being lazy about typing; when all you have to do is cut & paste. Enjoy!
A Woman's Worth
We've come a long way baby
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
By Goldie Taylor
I have been a mother all of my adult life. A single working mother. I put off dating, took menial jobs far beneath my qualifications and baked my share of ginger bread cookies for PTA Night, all so that three incredible children could have better. I chose their lives over mine. I don't have to tell you that it wasn't easy. Unfortunately, my story, our story, is not unique.
We slept in cars, bought groceries with food stamps and prayed for a better day. When that wasn't enough, I put myself through school at Emory University and took a part-time job as a staff writer at the Atlanta Journal Constitution. That was over a decade ago.
Along the way, things got better. I've been an executive at two Fortune 500 companies and a practice director at two multinational public relations firms. Today, I own an advertising agency and I've authored two novels. A third and fourth are on the way, God willing. All of this was possible because somebody laid a brick or two on the road for me.
A few weeks ago, I woke in tears. It was my 40th birthday and certainly not a time for sadness. Rather, I cried in joy because for the first time I realized and could embrace the value of the struggle. The bright little girl, who once cried in my arms because we didn't know where we were going to live, was headed off to Brown University. The small boy who had been the "man of the house" far too soon was now truly a man. And the tiny, angelic baby who had come to this world precious and innocent just 15 months after him was now a 16 year old girl headed out to her first job interview.
For all of this, maybe I should be proud of a woman like Sarah Palin. Maybe, just maybe, I should be rejoicing in John McCain's selected running mate.
But I'm not.
I'm not "bed wetting liberal" nor am I a "right-wing zealot." What I am is a working mother. And I cry foul.
I won't, for a moment, denigrate her experience or lob spit balls at her family. I will, though, take issue with what she knows. Or more succinctly, what she does not know. Living in Alaska, I'm not sure how much she knows about the people living in inner city Baltimore. I don't know how much she cares about the 125 murders this summer in Chicago. I have no idea what she believes about HIV/ AIDS and the havoc it wrecks on Black women or the cancer rates in East St. Louis. She hasn't said nary a word about Hurricane Katrina or the infant mortality rates in Appalachia.
I do know that she's a life-time member of the NRA, a proponent of individuals who wielded the very weapons that killed my father and brother. I do know that she “lives really close to Russia,” but I'm not so certain she is ready for Putin. I know she wanted to ban books for public libraries and sex education in schools, but that her 17 year old is pregnant and preparing for a shotgun wedding. I know that she loves her husband enough to allow him (and probably did herself) use her office to settle a personal score--one that the McCain campaign would now like to cover in under a blanket of Juneau snow. I know that the Alaska Independent Party, and its secessionist platform, was enticing enough for her to attend its conference (and for her husband to become a card carrying member). Does she love her country? I'm sure. Enough to support those who want to leave it.
But I have no earthly idea what she knows (or could possibly know) about national domestic policy or foreign diplomacy. For all of her working class values, she never once mentioned the Middle Class in her diatribe that mocked her opponent's experience. Having been the mayor of Wasilla (pop. 6,000 at the time) and governor of Alaska (a state a smaller than the county I live in) for a little over a year, she felt she was qualified to do that. And obviously, so did John McCain.
If she's qualified, then so am I.
But in this country I love, she has been afforded the ability to run. The very constitution she says doesn't apply to the men at Guantanamo says she can. But this is about more than that.
As Gloria Steinem said in a recent Los Angeles Times editorial, "Feminism has never been about getting a job for one woman. It's about making life more fair for women everywhere. It's not about a piece of the existing pie; there are too many of us for that. It's about baking a new pie."
The good news is thanks to Shirley Chisholm, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Angela Davis, Condoleeza Rice, Anita Hill, Madeline Albright, Maxine Waters, Kathleen Sebelius, Hilary Rodham Clinton and a slew of others, there are 18 million proverbial cracks in the ceiling. Our collective political and economic power is due to the strides (and leaps) they, and others, took on my behalf.
I am grateful. I am deeply humbled to stand on the bricks they'd laid before me.
But, whatever our struggle was (and is) that last thing I want is to be patronized. Just as I cannot support just any African American who decides to offer themselves up for public service, I will not toss my vote to someone just because we share the same chromosome mix. To do so would dishonor the vow I made to my children, to myself. I did not vote for Al Sharpton, wasn't old enough (nor would I have) voted for Jesse Jackson and I certainly will not support Sarah Palin. Identity politics, especially in this case, are a sham of the worst order.
When I cast my vote, it will be for people who will lay more bricks for people like me. It will be for people who will put diplomacy before war, challenge us all to provide healthcare for the sick, help another child go to college, and check the special interests in Washington. This fall, I'm not looking for a woman.
I'm looking for a brick layer.
I could care less if that person hasn't spent "enough" time in Washington or can "properly field dress a moose". I could care less if that person likes hockey, soccer, football or table tennis. I could care less if they graduated from Harvard or the University of Iowa. I'm a Christian, but I could care less if they are down with Deuteronomy, Leviticus or Numbers. I want them to uphold the Constitution.
So no, I will not sit idly by as they attempt to suspend habeas corpus at Guantanamo Bay, engage wiretaps on American citizens without a warrant, and hide behind executive privilege when they are caught firing attorney generals based on how well they tow the Republican line. I won't let them cost us $12 billion a month fighting a war that should have never been authorized and never been waged. Not while working people lose their homes to predatory lenders and watch as we bail out the financial institutions that created the housing crisis. I will not, in the name of history, vote for a woman like Sarah Palin who does not share my values.
But here’s what I will do.
I will continue raising money for Barack Obama. I will get on the phone again and call people in distant states I've never met. I will e-mail, call, and knock on doors until the final vote is cast. I do this, not because he shares my skin, but because I admire his principals and he shares my values. I do this because Barack Obama is more than a community organizer, he is a bricklayer. And he sees -- just as he sees the light in Michelle's eyes -- my struggle, my worth as a woman.
Goldie Taylor is CEO of Native Brand Communications and chairman of Goldie Taylor OmniMedia, LLC. She is the author of In My Father’s House (Wheatmark, 2005) and The January Girl (Madison Park, 2007 & Warner Books, 2008) and is currently working on her third novel, Come Sunday. Taylor and her children live in Atlanta and New York. For more information, visit www.goldietaylor.net or her blog Second Day at www.goldietaylor.wordpress.com
A Woman's Worth
We've come a long way baby
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
By Goldie Taylor
I have been a mother all of my adult life. A single working mother. I put off dating, took menial jobs far beneath my qualifications and baked my share of ginger bread cookies for PTA Night, all so that three incredible children could have better. I chose their lives over mine. I don't have to tell you that it wasn't easy. Unfortunately, my story, our story, is not unique.
We slept in cars, bought groceries with food stamps and prayed for a better day. When that wasn't enough, I put myself through school at Emory University and took a part-time job as a staff writer at the Atlanta Journal Constitution. That was over a decade ago.
Along the way, things got better. I've been an executive at two Fortune 500 companies and a practice director at two multinational public relations firms. Today, I own an advertising agency and I've authored two novels. A third and fourth are on the way, God willing. All of this was possible because somebody laid a brick or two on the road for me.
A few weeks ago, I woke in tears. It was my 40th birthday and certainly not a time for sadness. Rather, I cried in joy because for the first time I realized and could embrace the value of the struggle. The bright little girl, who once cried in my arms because we didn't know where we were going to live, was headed off to Brown University. The small boy who had been the "man of the house" far too soon was now truly a man. And the tiny, angelic baby who had come to this world precious and innocent just 15 months after him was now a 16 year old girl headed out to her first job interview.
For all of this, maybe I should be proud of a woman like Sarah Palin. Maybe, just maybe, I should be rejoicing in John McCain's selected running mate.
But I'm not.
I'm not "bed wetting liberal" nor am I a "right-wing zealot." What I am is a working mother. And I cry foul.
I won't, for a moment, denigrate her experience or lob spit balls at her family. I will, though, take issue with what she knows. Or more succinctly, what she does not know. Living in Alaska, I'm not sure how much she knows about the people living in inner city Baltimore. I don't know how much she cares about the 125 murders this summer in Chicago. I have no idea what she believes about HIV/ AIDS and the havoc it wrecks on Black women or the cancer rates in East St. Louis. She hasn't said nary a word about Hurricane Katrina or the infant mortality rates in Appalachia.
I do know that she's a life-time member of the NRA, a proponent of individuals who wielded the very weapons that killed my father and brother. I do know that she “lives really close to Russia,” but I'm not so certain she is ready for Putin. I know she wanted to ban books for public libraries and sex education in schools, but that her 17 year old is pregnant and preparing for a shotgun wedding. I know that she loves her husband enough to allow him (and probably did herself) use her office to settle a personal score--one that the McCain campaign would now like to cover in under a blanket of Juneau snow. I know that the Alaska Independent Party, and its secessionist platform, was enticing enough for her to attend its conference (and for her husband to become a card carrying member). Does she love her country? I'm sure. Enough to support those who want to leave it.
But I have no earthly idea what she knows (or could possibly know) about national domestic policy or foreign diplomacy. For all of her working class values, she never once mentioned the Middle Class in her diatribe that mocked her opponent's experience. Having been the mayor of Wasilla (pop. 6,000 at the time) and governor of Alaska (a state a smaller than the county I live in) for a little over a year, she felt she was qualified to do that. And obviously, so did John McCain.
If she's qualified, then so am I.
But in this country I love, she has been afforded the ability to run. The very constitution she says doesn't apply to the men at Guantanamo says she can. But this is about more than that.
As Gloria Steinem said in a recent Los Angeles Times editorial, "Feminism has never been about getting a job for one woman. It's about making life more fair for women everywhere. It's not about a piece of the existing pie; there are too many of us for that. It's about baking a new pie."
The good news is thanks to Shirley Chisholm, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Angela Davis, Condoleeza Rice, Anita Hill, Madeline Albright, Maxine Waters, Kathleen Sebelius, Hilary Rodham Clinton and a slew of others, there are 18 million proverbial cracks in the ceiling. Our collective political and economic power is due to the strides (and leaps) they, and others, took on my behalf.
I am grateful. I am deeply humbled to stand on the bricks they'd laid before me.
But, whatever our struggle was (and is) that last thing I want is to be patronized. Just as I cannot support just any African American who decides to offer themselves up for public service, I will not toss my vote to someone just because we share the same chromosome mix. To do so would dishonor the vow I made to my children, to myself. I did not vote for Al Sharpton, wasn't old enough (nor would I have) voted for Jesse Jackson and I certainly will not support Sarah Palin. Identity politics, especially in this case, are a sham of the worst order.
When I cast my vote, it will be for people who will lay more bricks for people like me. It will be for people who will put diplomacy before war, challenge us all to provide healthcare for the sick, help another child go to college, and check the special interests in Washington. This fall, I'm not looking for a woman.
I'm looking for a brick layer.
I could care less if that person hasn't spent "enough" time in Washington or can "properly field dress a moose". I could care less if that person likes hockey, soccer, football or table tennis. I could care less if they graduated from Harvard or the University of Iowa. I'm a Christian, but I could care less if they are down with Deuteronomy, Leviticus or Numbers. I want them to uphold the Constitution.
So no, I will not sit idly by as they attempt to suspend habeas corpus at Guantanamo Bay, engage wiretaps on American citizens without a warrant, and hide behind executive privilege when they are caught firing attorney generals based on how well they tow the Republican line. I won't let them cost us $12 billion a month fighting a war that should have never been authorized and never been waged. Not while working people lose their homes to predatory lenders and watch as we bail out the financial institutions that created the housing crisis. I will not, in the name of history, vote for a woman like Sarah Palin who does not share my values.
But here’s what I will do.
I will continue raising money for Barack Obama. I will get on the phone again and call people in distant states I've never met. I will e-mail, call, and knock on doors until the final vote is cast. I do this, not because he shares my skin, but because I admire his principals and he shares my values. I do this because Barack Obama is more than a community organizer, he is a bricklayer. And he sees -- just as he sees the light in Michelle's eyes -- my struggle, my worth as a woman.
Goldie Taylor is CEO of Native Brand Communications and chairman of Goldie Taylor OmniMedia, LLC. She is the author of In My Father’s House (Wheatmark, 2005) and The January Girl (Madison Park, 2007 & Warner Books, 2008) and is currently working on her third novel, Come Sunday. Taylor and her children live in Atlanta and New York. For more information, visit www.goldietaylor.net or her blog Second Day at www.goldietaylor.wordpress.com
Sunday, September 7, 2008
A lil' bit of this... A lil' bit of that...
It's definitely been a minute. I see half of you commenters were scared to leave a comment on my Obama blog. lol! Just kidding. Not to worry... they'll be more political commentary in this one & others, I'm sure. It really is a sad state of affairs to realize how much we are STILL a country divided. I've been trying to actively participate in watching the RNC, too. I like to be informed of what their stance is on the issues. I laugh at 1/2 of what these jokers are saying. I tried to watch Bush' speech the first night, but once he got to talkin' crazy (about what he knows)... I had to exit stage left. That man is comedy. No wonder I get such a kick out of the proud moments in presidential speeches highlights on David Letterman that are always clowning that man. *sigh* I could only take about 5 minutes each of the main folks speaking. Um... I can't take A ONE of these mutha suckas seriously. I can't. My vote isn't swaying so... it's really pointless. Especially with the all time high level the foolishness they're spitting has reached. Grrrr...
Moving along... Let me update you on me.
Well... stress/anxiety has been whuppin' up on my azz something serious. Went back to the doctor for that rash on my foot two weeks ago and... during the regular check-in/check-up stage, my blood pressure had apparently skyrocketed. My doctor came in the room & was like... um, not sure what's got you so stressed out besides you worring about this rash & your reaction you're having from it, but... all of that stress/ worry/ anxiety is causing you blood pressure to be sky high. It's borderline where we would start to treat someone for high blood pressure. I'm looking dumbfounded, as I had NO CLUE it was affecting me like that. Hell... I thought I was feeling crazy from all the meds they put me on for the rash. She said they would normally start to treat someone for high blood pressure at 140/90. Folks... my top # was 168. YIKES! So... needless to say, I have been doing some SERIOUS r&r over the last couple of weeks. I had to keep a blood pressure log for two weeks, but surprisingly, it's been VERY GOOD since then. SquareBear is working out in Cali this month and... is flying me out there this weekend for another r&r weekend. He asked me about some dates the Friday night before last & that saturday I woke up to an email on with my flight itinerary. I'm geeked. =o) It's sooo what I need! I can't wait to get there. Um, quiet as it's kept... he's growing on me. I had to check myself this weekend because I didn't think he was calling like he should be. He's been practicing for a triathalon (he ran today) for the last two weeks... and if he didn't pick up when I called, I was getting annoyed & *ish. I had to ask myself WHY I was getting annoyed, if I hadn't really even decided if I want to pursue this on a more serious level. *sigh* I refrained from saying something (after all, he's flying me out this weekend), but a couple of times I wanted to. But I'm sooo glad I refrained. Last night, out of the blue, he apologized for not seeming to be as attentive as he usually is, because he's been all into his triathalon training... and said how excited he is to see me. *wow! very unexpected* Thank goodness for keeping my mouth shut. I just said... "No problem. I understand." Sheesh... why was I trippin' (low-key) to begin with? *sigh* Feelings can be a b!tc* sometimes. Especially when you don't realize you're slowly catching them. Let's hope the cornball doesn't come out of him this weekend. Cause he's steady gaining ground...
Anyhoo... I've had a bunch of Randoms the last couple of weeks, but forgot to jot them down. But... here are some that I can remember:
~Why does Lo on The Hills bug the *ish outta me? I used to think she was the nicest pickle in the patch. But that chick has CLEARLY let Hollywood go to her head, cause she thinks she is THAT deal. No ma'am, chick. You are the least hottest chick on the show. Sorry. And... in contrast, why do I LOVE Audrina!
~So... I read a couple of the gossip blogs, but I can never read the comments anymore because the IGNORANCE runnin' up through there is ridiculous on some of them joints. I can tell you when I initially stopped waaay back in the day, when supposedly some pics of Vivica Fox giving head to someone surfaced & folks were trying to clown her (for some reason). But someone busted up in the joint talking about Viv was too old to be actin' like that. And I had to call my girl and ask... "Since when did giving head come with an age limit?" *smh* But when folks got to talkin' about Halle Berry's kid being ugly this week, the ignorance reached an ALL-TIME high! I mean, seriously folks... fa' real?!
~Never thought I'd actually WATCH from G's to Gent's on MTV. But that dayum T-Jones was a funny mutha sucka! "... I will survive!" *smh*
~And while we're on that topic, why does Creepa insist on calling himself a goon?! I mean... I don't know where that self describing term came from, but I can assure you, you will NEVA hear me refer to self as that. Wow. Home training is a beast, ain't it?
~I am OVER being smitten with Mr. JBHH. He's still a cutie, but uh... I just can't even entertain him. I don't think he knows this yet, but... uh, yeah. I'm not gon' be able to do it.
~There's a chick who's been blogging something serious (in installments) about relationships & loving her man. However, for two years (and two kids later)... this chick has been blogging about how he tore her down to the core (on all kinds of levels) and is now blogging about how you should hang in there, pretty much regardless. Should I take this chick seriously? I mean... at WHAT point do you not only want better for yourself, but EXPECT better for yourself? Or is it just the norm now to accept mediocrity from a man as normal? I mean... *sigh* Nevermind... that's just me thinking out loud. If she likes it, I love it.
~And speaking of men... can I get this cat w/ a red bow on him for my bday? Goodness. Ladies, if you ain't on, get on! Let me introduce... (to everyone except Carla) David Oliver. (Yes, I ganked these pics straight from his page!) But as SOON as this cat came on the t.v. (during the Olympics) for the 100m hurdles... I was like, "WHO IS THAT?!" AND he's from DENVER!! Y'all... something about him reminds me of Alpha. =o)
THE LATEST EYE CANDY...
GOOD GAWD!! GO USA!! =o)
Anyhoo... back to the randoms...
~I'm watching the VMA's... and is Russell Brand getting his red nose on or what? Yes, Team Barack! But uh... wth @ Lil' Weezy's performance? And what was that lil' leg of his supposed to be doing on that dance? *smh* I was tickled something serious watching that mess. But... I was sooo pullin' for Britney to win. Something about seeing someone rise up from a fall brings a smile to my face. Go girl! Chick was looking fab, too. It's still on, so I have no performance comments. Pink just went off, and thus far she's the ONLY performance I've enjoyed. Grrr...
~I can't believe I'm not playin' fantasy football this year. Tryin' to keep my focus where it needs to be. But durn it... I almost started up a league toay by myself. Or considered joining a random one. This is KILLIN' me!
~I added a chat box on here, too. So... hit it up anytime! Also... my girls Carla & Camille joined up on here so... feel free to hit them up, too. I'm going to get my blog roll up this week (hopefully) so it's easier access to check out the blogs I read.
Well... That's all folks. I need to hit the sack. I got all of four hours of sleep last night.
~BK
Moving along... Let me update you on me.
Well... stress/anxiety has been whuppin' up on my azz something serious. Went back to the doctor for that rash on my foot two weeks ago and... during the regular check-in/check-up stage, my blood pressure had apparently skyrocketed. My doctor came in the room & was like... um, not sure what's got you so stressed out besides you worring about this rash & your reaction you're having from it, but... all of that stress/ worry/ anxiety is causing you blood pressure to be sky high. It's borderline where we would start to treat someone for high blood pressure. I'm looking dumbfounded, as I had NO CLUE it was affecting me like that. Hell... I thought I was feeling crazy from all the meds they put me on for the rash. She said they would normally start to treat someone for high blood pressure at 140/90. Folks... my top # was 168. YIKES! So... needless to say, I have been doing some SERIOUS r&r over the last couple of weeks. I had to keep a blood pressure log for two weeks, but surprisingly, it's been VERY GOOD since then. SquareBear is working out in Cali this month and... is flying me out there this weekend for another r&r weekend. He asked me about some dates the Friday night before last & that saturday I woke up to an email on with my flight itinerary. I'm geeked. =o) It's sooo what I need! I can't wait to get there. Um, quiet as it's kept... he's growing on me. I had to check myself this weekend because I didn't think he was calling like he should be. He's been practicing for a triathalon (he ran today) for the last two weeks... and if he didn't pick up when I called, I was getting annoyed & *ish. I had to ask myself WHY I was getting annoyed, if I hadn't really even decided if I want to pursue this on a more serious level. *sigh* I refrained from saying something (after all, he's flying me out this weekend), but a couple of times I wanted to. But I'm sooo glad I refrained. Last night, out of the blue, he apologized for not seeming to be as attentive as he usually is, because he's been all into his triathalon training... and said how excited he is to see me. *wow! very unexpected* Thank goodness for keeping my mouth shut. I just said... "No problem. I understand." Sheesh... why was I trippin' (low-key) to begin with? *sigh* Feelings can be a b!tc* sometimes. Especially when you don't realize you're slowly catching them. Let's hope the cornball doesn't come out of him this weekend. Cause he's steady gaining ground...
Anyhoo... I've had a bunch of Randoms the last couple of weeks, but forgot to jot them down. But... here are some that I can remember:
~Why does Lo on The Hills bug the *ish outta me? I used to think she was the nicest pickle in the patch. But that chick has CLEARLY let Hollywood go to her head, cause she thinks she is THAT deal. No ma'am, chick. You are the least hottest chick on the show. Sorry. And... in contrast, why do I LOVE Audrina!
~So... I read a couple of the gossip blogs, but I can never read the comments anymore because the IGNORANCE runnin' up through there is ridiculous on some of them joints. I can tell you when I initially stopped waaay back in the day, when supposedly some pics of Vivica Fox giving head to someone surfaced & folks were trying to clown her (for some reason). But someone busted up in the joint talking about Viv was too old to be actin' like that. And I had to call my girl and ask... "Since when did giving head come with an age limit?" *smh* But when folks got to talkin' about Halle Berry's kid being ugly this week, the ignorance reached an ALL-TIME high! I mean, seriously folks... fa' real?!
~Never thought I'd actually WATCH from G's to Gent's on MTV. But that dayum T-Jones was a funny mutha sucka! "... I will survive!" *smh*
~And while we're on that topic, why does Creepa insist on calling himself a goon?! I mean... I don't know where that self describing term came from, but I can assure you, you will NEVA hear me refer to self as that. Wow. Home training is a beast, ain't it?
~I am OVER being smitten with Mr. JBHH. He's still a cutie, but uh... I just can't even entertain him. I don't think he knows this yet, but... uh, yeah. I'm not gon' be able to do it.
~There's a chick who's been blogging something serious (in installments) about relationships & loving her man. However, for two years (and two kids later)... this chick has been blogging about how he tore her down to the core (on all kinds of levels) and is now blogging about how you should hang in there, pretty much regardless. Should I take this chick seriously? I mean... at WHAT point do you not only want better for yourself, but EXPECT better for yourself? Or is it just the norm now to accept mediocrity from a man as normal? I mean... *sigh* Nevermind... that's just me thinking out loud. If she likes it, I love it.
~And speaking of men... can I get this cat w/ a red bow on him for my bday? Goodness. Ladies, if you ain't on, get on! Let me introduce... (to everyone except Carla) David Oliver. (Yes, I ganked these pics straight from his page!) But as SOON as this cat came on the t.v. (during the Olympics) for the 100m hurdles... I was like, "WHO IS THAT?!" AND he's from DENVER!! Y'all... something about him reminds me of Alpha. =o)
THE LATEST EYE CANDY...
GOOD GAWD!! GO USA!! =o)
Anyhoo... back to the randoms...
~I'm watching the VMA's... and is Russell Brand getting his red nose on or what? Yes, Team Barack! But uh... wth @ Lil' Weezy's performance? And what was that lil' leg of his supposed to be doing on that dance? *smh* I was tickled something serious watching that mess. But... I was sooo pullin' for Britney to win. Something about seeing someone rise up from a fall brings a smile to my face. Go girl! Chick was looking fab, too. It's still on, so I have no performance comments. Pink just went off, and thus far she's the ONLY performance I've enjoyed. Grrr...
~I can't believe I'm not playin' fantasy football this year. Tryin' to keep my focus where it needs to be. But durn it... I almost started up a league toay by myself. Or considered joining a random one. This is KILLIN' me!
~I added a chat box on here, too. So... hit it up anytime! Also... my girls Carla & Camille joined up on here so... feel free to hit them up, too. I'm going to get my blog roll up this week (hopefully) so it's easier access to check out the blogs I read.
Well... That's all folks. I need to hit the sack. I got all of four hours of sleep last night.
~BK
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